2006: Out With a Whimper and a Meme

2006 is on its way out the door. I spent eight months of it carrying Isabella in what by and large (and I do mean large) was an easy pregnancy. Getting knocked up? Really hard. Carrying the Beastie, not so much, thankfully.

I spent the next four in what I'm realizing is the hardest thing I've ever done, and that's being her mom. I've got a lot to learn.

So, in the spirit of summing up 2006, I decided to finally complete the meme for which Michelle tagged me.

Things I learned this year

I learned that becoming a mother and holding your child for the first time is like watching your heart beat outside your body. That indescribable feeling of absolute joy, of gazing into the face of that little person you created (or, if you've been through IVF, that little being that you, your partner, a team of doctors, nurses, and embryologists, a petri-dish and about $11,000 created) is so overwhelming, it's hard to even put into words. And as I just mentioned, I also leanred motherhood is the hardest thing I've done in my 30 years. I have much to learn in this area.

People I met

I met Ramona, of the cool and quirky Kross-Eyed Kitty. And I learned she is as sweet and funny in person as she is on her blog. If you haven't paid her a visit, go now and tell her I sent you!

Things I don't want to take with me into 2007

Impatience. Patience has never been my strong point. And now, because I'm often mentally and physically exhausted, especially lately with Isabella's horrid sleeping patterns, I'm getting even more impatient than I normally am. And motherhood and impatience? Not a fantastic combination. Luckily, Isabella has a wonderful dad who is patience personified and who can save her from her on-the-brink mother when she needs it. I need to learn how to check this unfabulous personality trait in the new year.

Things I want to hold close as you pass into 2007

Hmmm... this implies that I'm actually going to see the passing of 2006 and the arrival of 2007. My eyelids are currently propped open with toothpicks, so me thinks this ain't happening.

Things I'm looking forward to in 2007

1. God-willing, 8-10 hours of consecutive sleep, the likes of which I haven't seen since before becoming pregnant.

2. Learning to make some or all of Isabella's baby food myself.

3. Hearing Isabella's first word, which I'm 99% certain that because she spends all day and night with me, will have four letters, start with an f and end with a k.

Things that were life-changing in 2006

This one is fairly easy: becoming a parent. And the word "life-changing" doesn't quite cover it.

Things I hope to accomplish by the end of 2007

Regaining my sanity and the massive amounts of brain cells I've lost since becoming pregnant and then becoming a parent. I am seriously at least 22% dumber than I was before becoming pregnant. I cannot remember anything anymore, and I used to have a memory like an elephant, people. Now I can barely remember where the bathroom is in my house.

Achieiving a work-home balance that will reel me in from the edge. Working full-time from home, at night and on weekends, after caring for a four-month old all day is seriously hard. And exhausting. And mood-altering. I know. Poor me. But I need to fix this situation for my own sanity, be it through going to part-time work, or potentially job-sharing, or even quitting altogether and writing only on a freelance basis. At this point, I don't know.

And that's all folks. If you've sensed a slightly discouraged tone in my answers, well, give yourself a prize. It's been a hard couple of days here in new mommyland. But tomorrow is a new day, and a whole new year. And I've got high hopes for both of them.

Happy New Year to you! I can't wait to read about where each of your lives takes you in 2007.

9 Responses to “2006: Out With a Whimper and a Meme”

  1. # Blogger My Wombinations

    don't feel like a bad mother because you are human! Going on no sleep and keeping the schedule you have been keeping would try anyone's patience and as far as I am concerned, you are a pretty fabulous model of good mothering balanced with staying yourself, which is the most important thing you can do, in my opinion. And the sleep thing will get better--probably right around the time mine gets really bad. Then you can come to my blog and tell me it will get better, too:) Happy New Year! I am very glad to have found yuor blog!  

  2. # Blogger Marie

    Happy New Year Kristi!

    Things will get easier! And once you think you you've got a routine all figured out, she'll change it up on you, just to keep you on your toes.

    You're doing great Mom!!! And who doesn't have a lot to learn?

    And I bet Ella's first word won't be the f-bomb! I'm betting on "kitty,"... anyone else?

    Cheers to 2007!  

  3. # Blogger Michelle

    Kristi- Thanks for doing the meme I challenged you to. :) Great answers and well written as always. I look forward to watching you and Isabella grow together in the coming year.  

  4. # Blogger Michelle

    Just read your comment over on my blog. I hear you about the sleeplessness. It definitely SUCKS big time, especially for someone who loves to sleep. I can deal with crying, fussiness, shitty diapers, but the lack of sleep is thee hardest part of this gig called motherhood.  

  5. # Blogger l

    Happy New Year to you, too!

    I love how honestly you answered this, letting us see how much work motherhood is. There's no reason to feel guilty for being impatient or grumpy and not romanticizing it. Um, hello? 0 sleep = insanity. Mommyhood looks to me like the toughest job in the world.  

  6. # Blogger sher

    I remember seeing a sleep deprived new mom on television point out that they torture people by not letting them sleep! I agree with everyone else--don't feel guilty! I think Isabella is such a blessed child to have her parents. Happy New Year.  

  7. # Blogger Ramona

    You are doning a fabulous job despite being sleep deprived. I can tell by every word that you type what a great mom you are. 2006 was a great year for you, and 2007 will be even more fun!
    (And why would Ella's first word be FranK? And does your husband know?!)  

  8. # Blogger sunShine

    Happy New Year. It does get easier, trust me, it does. One day in a few months you will look back and barely remember all those feelings that you are having now. Hang in there, 2007 will be a good year.  

  9. # Blogger Kristi

    My Wombinations-Thanks. It's hard to see the big picture when you're entrenched in sleeplessness all the time. And I'm here for the "no sleep tonight" support you'll probably need anytime.

    Marie-Nope, it's going to be f**k. Mark my words!

    Michelle-Happy New Year. And I look forward to reading all about you and Maddy too. And yes, the no sleeping crap is the worst "crap" of all.

    L-Oh yeah, I'm nothing but honest here. Motherhood is seriously the hardest thing I've ever done. I just hope everyone doesn't get tired of me "letting it all hang out"!

    Sher-I believe it! And thank you for your kind words. I really needed to read them. :)

    Ramona-No, he doesn't know. Shhhh... ;)

    Sunshine-God, I hope so!  

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    IVF and girl/boy twins born in October 2008 following FET. Come along as I document the search for my lost intellect. It's a bumpy ride. Consider yourself warned.

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