This year, my birthday crept up on me. Usually, come March 1st, I launch my annual campaign to remind the hubs at least once a day that my birthday is X number of days away and he better start shopping. Or I ask him to get me something from hither and beyond after he's just buried himself under a blanket on the couch "because it's almost my birthday." He likes to remind me that I am under the mistaken assumption that my birthday is a month-long celebration. I like to remind him that in my mind, it most certainly is.

But this year, other pressing concerns have occupied the spot where my pre-birthday jubilation usually resides. Namely, what the hell is going on inside me right now? How can it be 8 more days until my ultrasound?

I'm 32 today. And for the first time in my life, I feel every one of those years. Motherhood has been incredible, but the daily grind of what it involves has taken its toll. The brown hairs are fighting a losing battle against the gray. Even before getting pregnant again I was often exhausted at the end of the day, and now, that exhaustion just sets in by mid-afternoon. And a trip into any store inevitably ends with the much-younger-than-me cashier telling me to "Have a nice day, ma'am."

Ma'am? When did I start looking like a "ma'am"?

However, physical debilitation aside, I'm in a pretty good place in my life.

My career is going well. Almost too well (knock on wood). I'm thinking of quitting one of my contract gigs. The pay isn't great, it takes up too much of my time, and I'm finding it's causing me too much stress. Plus, once I do, I'll have more time to devote to the writing I really care about. Oh, and my kid too.

I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I cannot do it all, as much as I've always thought I could. I am asking for more help, and when at all possible, I'm trying not to juggle 42 things at once, as has been my way in the past. And I'm making it a point to take more time for myself. I've started reading again before I go to bed, instead of working right up until the moment my eyes shut. Even 10 minutes doing something I love has made a big difference in my quality of life.

And somehow, incredibly, I have ended up pregnant again.

Last night the hubs and I went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant we've been going to since we started dating 11 years ago. It's a bit far away, so we only make it there three times a year: my birthday in March, our anniversary in August, and his birthday in September. A group of eight middle-aged men and women were seated at the table next to us. They were hitting the sauce pretty hard, and were talking about sex, and loudly. At one point, one of the women turned around to us and said, "Whew. You don't have any kids with you. We were worried you would call CPS on us." We told her we had left the kid at home.

A little later, their server presented one of the men with a cannoli with a lit candle in the center. The room sang "Happy Birthday" to him, and then the tanked group began to talk about the cannoli as if it were...not a cannoli.

"Hey Harold, I'll have a bite of your cannoli."

"Judy, I don't think you could handle my cannoli."

"How about if I just lick it?"


The same woman who had spoken to us earlier turned around again and said, "You two know all about cannolis. You have a kid!"

A very big part of me wanted to watch her reaction when I told her there was no cannoli involved.

18 Responses to “32”

  1. # Anonymous Lis Garrett

    HAHAHA! Yes, that would have gotte quite the reaction. Kristi, doesn't it feel liberating when you finally decide to start reclaiming your life, even if it's just 10 minutes at a time? Good for you!! I hope that this birthday is the best one yet. :-)  

  2. # Blogger My Wombinations

    Happy Birthday Kristi!!!  

  3. # Blogger Riley & Tiki

    Happy Birthday!!!  

  4. # Blogger Tracey

    Ahhh... cannoli sexual innuendos... they really WERE drunk, weren't they?

    HAppy Birthday!! I turn 32 in 4 days. yayyy... :) I am also losing the gray battle, but it's a downfall of being brunette, you know?

    Hope you're feeling good, and having a great birthday!  

  5. # Blogger Ramona

    Happy Birthday Kristi!
    I've been MIA for a while now, but I think I'm back!
    I'm SO THRILLED to hear that you are pregnant again! That is absolutely wonderful news! And, from what I see, you are a terrific mom, and there will be plenty of love to go around, no matter how many players on the team!
    Have a great day!  

  6. # Anonymous Kris

    Happy Birthday!!!

    I hope you have a marvelous day- and that the next 8 days passes very quickly!  

  7. # Blogger Marie


    Happy birthday, Kristi! Have a wonderful day!  

  8. # Anonymous Lisanne

    Cannoli! HAHA! :) That is TOO funny. And yeah, you telling them that would definitely have gotten a curious reaction! Glad you guys had fun at dinner. I'm losing that brown hair battle, too. Noticing more grays. :( Happy birthday! Glad you're doing things for yourself. We NEED that as moms. I'm 32, too!  

  9. # Blogger M

    Happy Birthday!!!!!!! I'm still reading along, though haven't had a moment outside of my own insanity to post. Anxiously awaiting your ultrasound, and praying for a singleton for you.  

  10. # Blogger Mom24

    Happy Birthday! I hope it is a good day! I will be 42 in two weeks, and I would give a lot to be able to go back and do the last ten years over again. Of course, I wouldn't though--who knows what changes you would make that could mean other changes you wouldn't have made! Yes, I do invent things to worry about!

    I wish peace for you this birthday. I hope you have a joy-filled year. You seem like the kind of person who deserves it. I hope it works out to cut back a bit on your work contracts. It's great that you've gotten to that place in your career. Good luck.  

  11. # Blogger l

    WHA-HA-HA-HA! That story made me cackle aloud. Kudos to you for savoring your little secret and for realizing that you can ask for help in life. Happy birthday month to you, Kristi!  

  12. # Blogger sher

    Hee! Yeah, you can imagine how they would have reacted! Happy Birthday! I'm so glad you're asking for help. Good.  

  13. # Blogger Jesser

    In case I didn't already say it, Happy BIRTHDAY! Sounds like a nice evening ... what have you gotten for your b'day so far?

    And really ... people on cell phones with those hands-free devices and middle aged dudes with cannolis are not interesting and/or funny and need to keep their lives to themselves. :P Ooh I sound grumpy.  

  14. # Anonymous Shannon

    Hippo birdie two ewes, Kristi!  

  15. # Blogger Editorgirl

    Happy Belated!  

  16. # Blogger beagle

    Happy belated bday from me too! My DH turned 42 the day after you turned 32. That should make you feel like one young chickadee!  

  17. # Blogger shokufeh

    Happy Birthday!
    So what did you eat at this fabulous (other than the lame other guests) restaurant?  

  18. # Blogger Damselfly

    Happy belated birthday!

    I will never be able to eat a cannoli again....  

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