Please Don't Buy Me Chocolate Today

Truth be told, I'm not a mushy type of girl where love is concerned. Oh sure, I love a good chic-flic romantic comedy as much as the next person (Karrie absolutely LOVES romantic comedies), but in most other areas, I'm not exactly what you would call demonstrative in showing lurvve for my husband.

PDA and I are not friends. When I see couples kissing in public I'm more likely to think to myself, "Rent a room," than "aww... how cute." My husband and I have these friends that are constantly sucking face whenever they're in the presence of others. To me, this is the equivalent of the two of them wearing tshirts that proclaim, in capital letters, "Look how much in love we are!!!" to the world at large. Yes, we get it. You're in love.

I attempted to figure out why this was. It may have something to do with the fact that I didn't have an example of a couple showing daily affection for each other growing up. My mom and dad divorced when I was two, so I don't remember them living together at all. And with numbers 2-4, I don't recall seeing much in the way of marital canoodling either. But to be fair, I was at my grandparents' house all the time, and having been married for over 40 years and having been very much in love for that entire time, I saw plenty of affection between the two of them.

My husband is much better at being affectionate and demonstrating his love for me than I am for him. Kissing in public isn't a big deal for him at all. He's always doing romantic things for me, including stuffing me in his car and driving me all over tarnation on our first Valentine's Day together nine years ago in an attempt to confuse me as to our real destination: The Lake House, a Bed and Breakfast on Seneca Lake in the Finger Lakes, a place we would ultimately continue to visit several times a year following that first visit, and on whose pier he would propose four years later. He has a PhD in romantic love. I never made it out of elementary school.

So on Valentine's Day, I thought I should give expressing why it is I love him so much a shot. Simply put, my husband is the most patient, kind, and selfless person I know. In the times when I am at my worst (and especially in the last two years, there have been plenty of these), he makes it his mission to scrape me up off the ground and make me smile. We laugh together in a way I've never been able to with anyone before. He lets me get my way (which for some reason is very important to me. Huh, go figure) 99% of the time, and doesn't seem to hold it against me when "my way" turns out to be the "wrong way." He loves my family every bit as much as I do, and would do anything for them at any time. And he makes me feel loved, every single day of the year.

We've had plenty of difficult times, and a few where I honestly thought we shouldn't stay together. No marriage is perfect, and ours is FAR from it. But, I love him because of all the wonderful things he is, and in spite of all the things he isn't. Marriage isn't a la carte. It's a package deal.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

9 Responses to “Please Don't Buy Me Chocolate Today”

  1. # Blogger Geekwif

    I'm not so much into public mushiness myself, though I do love a good romantic comedy.

    He sounds like a wonderful husband. You expressed your love for him beautifully.  

  2. # Blogger Christine

    Awww. You guys.

    I taught my cousin's husband in Italy the phrase, "go get a room," when we happened upon a very "romantic" couple in the plaza a couple years ago. Apparently no such phrase exists there. For shame  

  3. # Blogger Alisha

    How beautiful, Kristi!!! 9 years-WOW is all I can say.

    I believe in marriage PDA is overrated...the good stuff is in the small, quiet moments.

    Happy Valentine's Day to you!  

  4. # Blogger Binulatti

    I'm ripping myself away from my favorite Meg Ryan movie to comment. Which one's my fave? Too hard to choose. I do so love it when everything works out in the end, just like life.
    Seriously, tho - a very sweet post. You've got such a good one there. I mean, he puts up with you, so he's practically a saint! :-P
    (Did you ever think you'd be writing this after all those black-clad, mopey, Untamed Heart v-days? Ah, youth...)  

  5. # Blogger Marie

    He's a good egg Kristi! But then, so are you!!  

  6. # Blogger Kristi

    Geekwif-Thanks!

    Christine-LOL. Yes, Italy could definitely do with that turn of phrase. I saw enough PDA when I was there to last a lifetime, but somehow it all seemed so much more...cosmo than it does here.

    Alisha-I totally agree!

    Karrie-Wait...movies don't imitate life? But our dear mum's life is exactly like a romantic comedy, wouldn't you say? And no, I never thought I would write something like this. I can still recite all the words to Untamed Heart though! Want to go to Vertex?

    Marie-you're too sweet. Thanks!  

  7. # Blogger Kross-Eyed Kitty

    I must admit, I like holding Greg's hand when we walk along the street, but that's as far as the PDA goes! We have a couple of friends who are married, and before I even met them, Greg referred to them as The Sexuals! OMG! Talk about getting a room! While she's groping at him she's proclaiming to everyone in the room "Look! Have you seen my sexy husband? Isn't he sexy?!"
    F.O.
    And happy Valentines!!!  

  8. # Blogger Kristi

    Ramona-I'm cool with hand-holding too. Much beyond that, though, is too much PDA for me. And "The Sexuals" sound revolting! Ewww...  

  9. # Anonymous Anonymous
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