Please Don't Sweat in My Starbucks

A few weeks ago, and then again this morning, I saw one of "them" in my Starbucks. She was ahead of me in the morning rush line, panting slightly. She was wearing a thin t-shirt stuck to her upper body, shorts, and sneakers. She was a jogger, fresh from a run, and positively glistening and potentially dripping with sweat. And she was standing in line for coffee. At my Starbucks.

Now, before joggers of the world unite to flog me, let me tell you that I am one of you! I am a jogger. And I am a sweater. And no, I don't mean the nice cable-knit kind you pull over your head when it's cold out. When I jog, I sweat. A lot. I also pant. A lot. And I breathe heavily, and do all those other unappealing things one does when one runs long distances without stopping. I just don't end my run at Starbucks. Or any other public place for that matter.

Call me a nutter, but I don't want a perspiring person in my Starbucks. Or in my grocery store. Or ahead of me in line at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Not when I'm still half asleep, cranky, and in serious need of caffeine. Actually, I don't want a jogger in my Starbucks when I'm wide awake, in a pleasant mood, and moderately caffeinated either. It's repulsive and it's inconsiderate. Go home. Take a shower. And then emerge in public.

I don't understand these people at all. When I'm nearing the end of a run, I'm thinking about three things: 1) Sticking my head under a faucet. 2) Toweling off my sweaty body and 3) collapsing in a heap on my living room floor. I am not, under any circumstances, thinking to myself, "Gee, I could go for a cup of coffee right now." And I'm certainly not thinking about subjecting said sweaty body to people, dressed in work attire, standing in line in a coffee shop on a weekday morning.

What are these people thinking? Do they just not care how they appear (and smell) to others? Are they in denial about the normal post-run bodily functions? Are they the type of person that tells others, "Oh, I don't sweat. Nope. Hardly at all." I mean, seriously people. Take a look at your reflection in the glass door before you enter. And then run away. Quickly.

11 Responses to “Please Don't Sweat in My Starbucks”

  1. # Blogger farmgirl

    LOL Kristi, you crack me up. Even if someone does think you're a nutter (which I do not, though I like that term!), they can't deny that you're a very good writer. I'm just grateful the closest Starbucks is 200 miles away so I don't have to deal with those kinds of problems. Plus nobody, and I mean NOBODY, jogs around here. After years, people still can't figure out why we walk four miles a day without a "reason." : )

    My sincere apologies for not responding to your bread baking question sooner. Been having a bit of computer trouble. Still am, actually. (I don't remember it taking five, yes five, minutes to open up the comments page on your blog before).

    Yes, you can increase the time of both the first and second rise when you reduce the amount of yeast in a recipe. But keep an eye on that second rise. Better to be a little "underdone" than rise too much, exhausting the yeast, and making for short bread.

    If you use the "indent with the finger" test for your dough (where you poke it with your finger, and if the indent stays, the bread has fully risen), you might want to go aheaad and put the bread in the oven when the dough still springs back a little. This is a common practice with freeform, crusty loaves like French baguettes. It causes more of an oven spring and that beautiful "bloom," where the slits on top of the loaf open up and get all pretty.

    Didn't mean to leave you such a long comment, but I figured this would be the fastest way for you to receive my answer, rather than my simply leaving it on Farmgirl Fare and hoping you found it.

    I hope you'll let me know how your next batch of bread comes out. Happy baking! : )

    P.S. Enjoyed your "List" post but don't think I can handle waiting for another comment page to open up. . . : )  

  2. # Blogger Marie

    I do sometimes go to places sweaty & stinky, but if it helps any, I DO feel bad about it... sometimes. And I hardly ever go to your Starbucks, and I don't jog... so not to worry... ;-)  

  3. # Blogger farmgirl

    Hi Kristi,
    Just an amendment to my long comment there. On the second rise, when the loaves have been formed, you definitely want to put them in the oven before a finger indent stays indented in the dough. You can play around to see how much spring you want it to have--just make a few notes about rising times, etc. and compare the results to previous batches.

    I just took three loaves of what I call Farmhouse White (basic white sandwich bread) out of the oven. I wasn't paying enough attention, and when they were ready to go in the oven, the oven was still cold. They look okay, but they did not rise one single bit in the oven, so they are on the short side. And the bread will of course be much denser. I haven't tasted it yet, as it's best to wait at least 40 (sometimes interminable) mintues before you cut into a loaf. I'm sure it'll taste okay, just different than what I'm used to getting. But this was a good experiment/lesson for me--as every batch of bread is! : )  

  4. # Blogger Kross-Eyed Kitty

    If I ran (which I don't)I highly doubt I'd be running to a coffee shop. What is WRONG with those people?! I'd head to the pub.
    And, for the record because I see that she has posted here, I also enjoy Farmgirl's site. I'm glad that you introduced her.  

  5. # Blogger Kross-Eyed Kitty

    ...and thanks for your advice regarding my mother. I am glad to count you as one of my blogfriends!  

  6. # Blogger Amy

    The sweat doesn't bother me so much--probably because I am hyper-aware that I drag my loud, sticky children everywhere and undoubtedly annoy people all the time, LOL--but I don't get it, either. All I want after a good run is WATER. Lots and lots of it. Hot coffee is basically the very last thing on my mind! Weird.  

  7. # Blogger ejm

    Kristi, if you do let it go too far on the last rise (when it's already shaped), you will notice that the resulting loaf is a little flat AND that it may have a really large hole just under the top crust. I've heard that this hole is called by some French bakers "where the lazy baker sleeps" (Your overrisen bread will probably still be better than most commercially produced breads)


    (It was I who I barged in and left you an earlier rather verbose answer on FarmGirl's blog comments - I didn't realize that she had come over here to answer....)  

  8. # Blogger ejm

    I completely forgot to say... how hilarious your plea to joggers in your Starbucks post is. I hope that the inconsiderate joggers of the world have read it and taken note.


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  10. # Blogger Guppyman

    Luckily I am not a fan of either jogging or Starbucks.... So I will never have that problem.  

  11. # Blogger Kristi

    FarmGirl-Thanks for the compliment. And thank you so much for answering my questions. I'm going to email you the results of this past weekend's bread-baking soon.

    Marie-LOL. Would we call it "sweater guilt"?

    Kross-Eyed Kitty-I'm with you. Shower first. Coffee later. And you're right. FarmGirl's site is wonderful. Glad you enjoy it too.

    Amy-Loud, sticky children in public are one thing. That's part of being a kid. Sticky, sweaty adults are quite another.

    Elizabeth-Thanks for the tip! I really appreciate all the help I can get, since I'm a novice baker. Keep the advice coming, and thanks for stopping by my blog.

    Guppyman- LOL. You're lucky then. But sweaty joggers are everywhere!  

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