This post is overdue. Several days overdue. And it's late because I am having a very hard time conjuring up a (mainly) positive post (which is what I try to do with these monthly updates) about Luci and Nicholas because my God, they are driving me even more insane than they normally do lately.
Honestly, they are fortunate their mother finds them cute (mainly when they're sleeping) because most days? That's all these two have going for them. I've said it before and I will say it most likely until the day they turn 18 and are off to college-if I was a drinker, I would be drunk Every.Single.Day. They are siphoning off my will to live on an hour-by-hour basis.
I am waiting for the day that I can say that their personalities have mellowed. That they spend the greater part of the day happily playing instead of furiously screaming. That taking them places is no longer a huge bust each and every time, because a psychotic screaming or thrashing episode has forced us to cut and run (or not to go at all). That they don't begin the day crying while I change their diapers and get them dressed in the morning, screaming while they wait for me to get their breakfast, and then napping for an hour or less in the afternoon, which means not only that I'm unable to accomplish any of my work, and must therefore stay up until midnight trying to get it all done, but also that I have no break from the constant noise and never-ending demands of my children (Isabella is no longer napping and is also no longer content to stay quietly in her room).
Parenting these two makes me wish I worked full-time outside the home. Anywhere outside the home.
And damn if this doesn't make me feel like the worst mother in the world for admitting this.
There has been some good to come of the last month. They've both had a language explosion, and Nicholas has begun to put together words. He says, "Bye-Bye Car" when we're getting ready to go somewhere. He also says, "good boy," "thank you," and "night-night." He calls Isabella "Baba," has begun making animal noises ("meow" is his favorite), and says "more" constantly at meal times.
Luci is less verbal, but has shown a definite uptick in words since last month. Her favorite is "uh-oh," but she also now says, "ball," "baby," "down," "bye-bye," and "hi," in addition to her other words. Both babies are also fans of saying, "No!" whenever possible.
Nicholas is still not as steady on his feet as Luci is, but he's getting there. He loves books, and will often bring one of his two favorites ("Where is Baby's Birthday Cake?" or "Dear Zoo") to me to read to him.
He is into everything, a stereotypical boy, and his behavior makes me realize I am going to have to do a whole lot more babyproofing for him than I did for Isabella.
I have dubbed Luci "Sybil," because her temperament can swing from sweet and docile one minute to screeching harpie the next. She walks really well, and is just beginning to run, which Isabella loves because it means they can chase each other. She is an instigator, and still loves to take her brother's binky, toys, or whatever of his she can get her hands on.
Luci has formed a tight bond with her "lovey," Bonnie, a stuffed rabbit that's been in her crib since she was an infant. She carries it around the house with her, and snuggles with it at night. She calls Bonnie her "baby."
Everyday I wake up and think that soon things must get better. I feel guilty that my feelings toward them are often less than positive, and that I would be able to deal with one high-needs baby + Isabella so much better than I'm dealing with two high needs babies + a preschooler.
I'm considering creating a tear-off calendar to count down the days until their third birthday. By that point they will have chilled the hell out, right? And if they haven't, well, I'm sure there are boarding preschools out there that would love to have them.
A few miscellaneous facts: They are mainly wearing size 12 months clothing, although Nicholas could probably fit into size 18 month shirts (but not pants) and Luci still wears some of her size 9 months pants. Nicholas has 8 teeth. Luci has 1, and it's not even fully in yet. Both are wearing size 3 Huggies, although Nicholas is just about to move to size 4.
Nicholas
Honestly, they are fortunate their mother finds them cute (mainly when they're sleeping) because most days? That's all these two have going for them. I've said it before and I will say it most likely until the day they turn 18 and are off to college-if I was a drinker, I would be drunk Every.Single.Day. They are siphoning off my will to live on an hour-by-hour basis.
I am waiting for the day that I can say that their personalities have mellowed. That they spend the greater part of the day happily playing instead of furiously screaming. That taking them places is no longer a huge bust each and every time, because a psychotic screaming or thrashing episode has forced us to cut and run (or not to go at all). That they don't begin the day crying while I change their diapers and get them dressed in the morning, screaming while they wait for me to get their breakfast, and then napping for an hour or less in the afternoon, which means not only that I'm unable to accomplish any of my work, and must therefore stay up until midnight trying to get it all done, but also that I have no break from the constant noise and never-ending demands of my children (Isabella is no longer napping and is also no longer content to stay quietly in her room).
Parenting these two makes me wish I worked full-time outside the home. Anywhere outside the home.
And damn if this doesn't make me feel like the worst mother in the world for admitting this.
There has been some good to come of the last month. They've both had a language explosion, and Nicholas has begun to put together words. He says, "Bye-Bye Car" when we're getting ready to go somewhere. He also says, "good boy," "thank you," and "night-night." He calls Isabella "Baba," has begun making animal noises ("meow" is his favorite), and says "more" constantly at meal times.
Luci is less verbal, but has shown a definite uptick in words since last month. Her favorite is "uh-oh," but she also now says, "ball," "baby," "down," "bye-bye," and "hi," in addition to her other words. Both babies are also fans of saying, "No!" whenever possible.
Nicholas is still not as steady on his feet as Luci is, but he's getting there. He loves books, and will often bring one of his two favorites ("Where is Baby's Birthday Cake?" or "Dear Zoo") to me to read to him.
He is into everything, a stereotypical boy, and his behavior makes me realize I am going to have to do a whole lot more babyproofing for him than I did for Isabella.
I have dubbed Luci "Sybil," because her temperament can swing from sweet and docile one minute to screeching harpie the next. She walks really well, and is just beginning to run, which Isabella loves because it means they can chase each other. She is an instigator, and still loves to take her brother's binky, toys, or whatever of his she can get her hands on.
Luci has formed a tight bond with her "lovey," Bonnie, a stuffed rabbit that's been in her crib since she was an infant. She carries it around the house with her, and snuggles with it at night. She calls Bonnie her "baby."
Everyday I wake up and think that soon things must get better. I feel guilty that my feelings toward them are often less than positive, and that I would be able to deal with one high-needs baby + Isabella so much better than I'm dealing with two high needs babies + a preschooler.
I'm considering creating a tear-off calendar to count down the days until their third birthday. By that point they will have chilled the hell out, right? And if they haven't, well, I'm sure there are boarding preschools out there that would love to have them.
A few miscellaneous facts: They are mainly wearing size 12 months clothing, although Nicholas could probably fit into size 18 month shirts (but not pants) and Luci still wears some of her size 9 months pants. Nicholas has 8 teeth. Luci has 1, and it's not even fully in yet. Both are wearing size 3 Huggies, although Nicholas is just about to move to size 4.
Nicholas
Likes: Throwing whatever he can get his hands on through the cat door to the basement, drinking bath water, pulling Luci's hair
Dislikes: The sound barrier, rest and relaxation
Luci
Likes: Taking off her shoes and socks 13 million times a day, Isabella's belly button
Dislikes: Sharing, unfamiliar foods, a good book, a nice glass of wine, and 30 minutes of quiet time
Kristi, I love your honesty. I'm so sorry that it's hard. That stinks. Truly. Not how anyone wants things to go. I hope that things get easier...soon. It's incredibly discouraging I'm sure. Keep doing the best you can. I guess stay in survival mode. This will pass, eventually.
(((hugs)))
How about I trade you Luci and Nicholas for Mark. He has a lot of similar behaviors but you can insist he nap and go to bed on time.
I am so sorry they continue to be so challenging. That sounds like a nightmare! They really are adorable from this distance, but I'm sure the constant screaming wears you down. You certainly are not a bad mother!
I love your blog (and honesty, as Mom24 said) but sometimes your posts keep me up at night in fear. This will be one of them. I am way too spoiled with Bean and I'll probably have a mental breakdown when the twins come.
:)
I'm so sorry. It sounds very rough. The threes have their moments over here, so maybe their twos and threes will go much better.
Little Elvis wasn't a great napper, either. I never did find a great trick to help, so I have no good advice.
I always love your updates on the twins. It doesn't sound easy (OK, it sounds downright painful), but it is so fascinating to see their differences and their developments every month. They are amazing little people ... just wish they would cut you some slack!!
OH my, did I laugh so hard, when I read the bit, "Parenting makes me wish I worked full time outside the home." Oh boy, how many times haven't I wished for that!?
I totally get the guilt thing too. My two fight all the time too, like butting heads, like bulls who won't give in. The noise just escalates until one or both of them is wailing from some very real, or very imagined injury and trying to see who gets mummy's attention first.
As for turning 3? Yes. Three is good. Three is the calm before the storm that is four. Because *gawd*help*you*then*. This morning I laced my coffee with what I thought was hazelnut syrup, and turned out to be Frangelica (hazelnut liquer) and gosh darn it if I didn't throw that sucker back at 7am without a care, even after I realised what I had done. At least it's not the norm :)
i've been following your story forever it seems...yours was one of the first blogs I ever read in fact...I'm sorry life is tough for you...I found two children a year apart more than stretched my patience and good humour but three? I couldn't have done that...
Just one suggestion: have you thought about maybe taking an au pair girl for a while? I live in France and know quite a few people who've taken a girl into their homes to learn English/French while lending a hand with the children. In all cases it seems to have worked to everyone's satisfaction. Of course it's not free but neither is it too expensive either and the good thing is that you don't hand control of your children over to someone else.
Hugs Kristi. You are certainly not a bad mother, it's just that two high needs toddlers would be frustrating to anyone. Here's hoping that it changes and soon.
Otherwise, I think their grandmother would really like them to be shipped to her house for the summer. :)
I'm sorry it is *still* so hard.
That said, I LOVE reading these posts for the "Likes and Dislikes" section!