Onward

In many ways, 2009 has passed in a complete blur.

Sleep-deprivation, work craziness, hellcat-raising, and the never-ending pursuit of some semblance of balance in my life all combined to form the perfect storm of mind-numbing fog. There are many events in 2009 that I simply cannot remember.

Fortunately, I have this blog to remind me.

I re-read my post from last New Year's Eve. In it, I mentioned that I "hoped things would be easier this time next year."

Things are still tough. Really, really tough. But they are better. Not significantly better. But better. Instead of both twins up all night, every night, I now only have to deal with one baby (Luci) awake for a couple hours a few nights a week. Still maddening, but better.

I don't feel as if I am barely scraping by anymore. Most days anyway, I think I have my shit together. Of course, the state of my house suggests otherwise, but now I have a routine with the kids and a schedule, and that had made life a whole lot easier.

And I've lost all my baby weight. All my old clothes fit, and since I've stopped nursing, my boobs have returned to their regular size. Oddly enough, this has been a big deal to me. Not having the resources to go out and buy a lot of new clothes and struggling to squeeze myself into clothes that no longer fit was stressful for the 9 months it took me to lose all the twin pounds. Now, I have a whole closet of clothes 4+ years and older to choose from!

There are many, many areas of my life that need improvement. I have no patience with my kids most days. I am constantly struggling to find time to do my work outside of the midnight hour. I have virtually no time to devote to my personal interests, including this blog and reading all of yours.

But just like I did last year, I am not making resolutions for 2010. Once again, my resolution is simply to survive, and to try to make the small improvements and adjustments that will make my life easier. The specifics of these are to be determined, but just the idea that I will soon be sorting these out has made me feel slightly better about the cloud that's been hanging over me for the past year.

And on that note, Happy New Year, everyone.

10 Responses to “Onward”

  1. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Happy New Year to you as well. Thanks for finding the time to blog and share your life with all of us readers. I also like the idea of not making resolutions, but rather making adjustments to suit your needs as things come up. Who sticks to resolutions anyway? My best to you and yours in 2010.--KB  

  2. # Anonymous Ness at Drovers Run

    The fact that you have lost all your baby weight? Awesome. OMG, if I at least had *that*, I would be in a much better head space than I am now. But, one thing at a time, I'm chipping away at that large boulder one pebble at a time.

    Weight. Complete studies. Grow business. Emigrate. Phew, doesn't sound like much when I put it like that :) and thankfully most of these can probably be worked on simultaneously.  

  3. # Blogger Unknown

    Happy New Year to you and your family, Kristi!  

  4. # Blogger Nonnie

    Happy New Year, Kristi! I wish I had a magic answer for how to get that kid to sleep through the night...geez!  

  5. # Blogger Mom24

    Happy New Year. I hope that this time next year you can say that things are much, much better.  

  6. # Anonymous Lisanne

    Happy New Year, Kristi! I'm doing the same thing as you ~ NOT making NYE resolutions and just trying to be the best person I can be every single day. Good luck to you!  

  7. # Blogger Linda Bob Grifins Korbetis Hall

    you will make it through, there is nothing you can be afraid of...
    it is a matter of attitude,
    organizations, and self-control..
    Good luck.

    http://www.jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com
    welcome.  

  8. # Blogger tracey.becker1@gmail.com

    Hey, that is a GOOD resolution. Have a good one, hon.  

  9. # Blogger Veronica

    Happy New Year!

    I do hope that this year will be better and 365 days from now, you'll be able to say that 2010 was a much better year overall.

    It's supposed to get easier, right?

    I miss you!  

  10. # Blogger Thalia

    I'm so glad things are getting better.

    Just wanted to let you know that bloglines has not been updating my subscription to your feed, although all the posts were there when I went specifically to the subscription and clicked on 'all items'. So I have missed a couple of months of posts, I am sorry!  

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    mother to a daughter
    born in August 2006 following
    IVF and girl/boy twins born in October 2008 following FET. Come along as I document the search for my lost intellect. It's a bumpy ride. Consider yourself warned.

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