When Three is Company and a Crowd
11 Comments posted by Kristi on Friday, September 04, 2009 at 12:00 AM
We're having a huge moving sale today. I've spent the last few days dusting off the massive amounts of junk I've managed to accumulate over the years (I found a cassette tape of the Pretty in Pink soundtrack, people), tagging it, and sticking it in an appropriate box that I'll haul out to my front yard in the wee hours of the morning. It's somewhat of a cathartic experience. Where once I was a complete pack rat, I am no longer.
Sorting the baby clothes took a lot of time. I'm selling 99% of the clothes I have in 0-3 month and 3-6 month sizes. Luci and Nicholas still fit in some of the 6-month clothing, so not everything is going. But if it doesn't fit, and I'm not sentimentally attached to it (I'm keeping Isabella's "going-home" dress, a few of the impossibly tiny preemie sleepers the twins wore, and a few other pieces) it's being sold for .50 cents on my driveway beginning at 9 o' clock this morning.
As I was sorting, folding, and organizing the baby clothes over the past few nights, I didn't feel even the tiniest twinge of longing for another baby to fill the soft newborn sleepers. I have many friends who have two or more young children and who speak of not completely closing the door to more. I have friends who fall into the "If it happens, it happens" camp, others who fall into the, "maybe in a few years" camp, and even one who seems to be trying to keep pace with Michelle Duggar. I am in none of these camps. In fact, the mere thought of going to camp produces a full-on panic attack.
This should come as no surprise to anyone who's been reading this blog for awhile. Three kids is more than I am equipped to handle. I am a two-child type of parent. Many days (especially lately), I think it might have been better to stop at one. I love them all to pieces, but I have been short on patience and long on massive frustration over having to meet their never-ending needs instead of my own 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But that is a topic for another post.
Someone else can put my kids' baby clothes to good use. Our family is complete. And I am more sure of that than I am of anything else in my life.
Sorting the baby clothes took a lot of time. I'm selling 99% of the clothes I have in 0-3 month and 3-6 month sizes. Luci and Nicholas still fit in some of the 6-month clothing, so not everything is going. But if it doesn't fit, and I'm not sentimentally attached to it (I'm keeping Isabella's "going-home" dress, a few of the impossibly tiny preemie sleepers the twins wore, and a few other pieces) it's being sold for .50 cents on my driveway beginning at 9 o' clock this morning.
As I was sorting, folding, and organizing the baby clothes over the past few nights, I didn't feel even the tiniest twinge of longing for another baby to fill the soft newborn sleepers. I have many friends who have two or more young children and who speak of not completely closing the door to more. I have friends who fall into the "If it happens, it happens" camp, others who fall into the, "maybe in a few years" camp, and even one who seems to be trying to keep pace with Michelle Duggar. I am in none of these camps. In fact, the mere thought of going to camp produces a full-on panic attack.
This should come as no surprise to anyone who's been reading this blog for awhile. Three kids is more than I am equipped to handle. I am a two-child type of parent. Many days (especially lately), I think it might have been better to stop at one. I love them all to pieces, but I have been short on patience and long on massive frustration over having to meet their never-ending needs instead of my own 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But that is a topic for another post.
Someone else can put my kids' baby clothes to good use. Our family is complete. And I am more sure of that than I am of anything else in my life.
I had so many "THIS IS DEFINITELY MY LAST CHILD" moments in the last year. So I totally understand where you're coming from. I actually had moments, where I was contemplating the virtues of the only child as a good thing - !! However, now that my youngest one is walking, it has become SO MUCH easier. Suddenly he's seen as 'another kid' by my eldest, and not 'the baby who takes all the attention'. My eldest wants to play with him, and amuse him, and protects him from all the dangerous things in the house. It's brought a whole new dimension to their relationship. That said, there are also times when I want to pull all my hair out because the older one is 'causing trouble' with the younger one, and the younger one is screaming his head off, and blatting anything he can reach with both hands. So it's give and take.
Yesterday for the first time EVER, I had the tiniest of TWINGES that suggested...what if....?
Then my brain firmly shut down my ovaries, with a very loud, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING DOWN THERE! YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT, DON'T BE AN EMOTIONAL DOOSH BAG!!!" and so I put it out of my mind for good.
I'm done.
I'm glad for you peace over it. It can be really painful when you don't have that peace.
I'm sorry that you're still struggling so much with the three. It makes perfect sense, you're still at a very, very hard point. It will get easier, you will get time for yourself again, they will stop being SO needy at some point. Hang in there, I promise it will come.
50 cents? Crazy cheap. I hope it all goes, and goes quickly. :-)
I think every couple just knows when they are done. After our long weekend without our three, my husband and I were wondering why we had any at all! LOL! Of course, we meant that in jest (kinda).
There was a time we were contamplating a fourth, but all it took was one bad day with the kids to close that door for good. Like Mom24 said, you are still at a tough point and it does get easier (a little).
The closure is nice, though. You won't have to wonder "what if?" about your family being complete.
Good luck on the sale!
I understand. I reached the "I'm done having children" stage a number of months ago. We've been selling off baby stuff left, right, and center and haven't looked back.
Ness sums up the new relationship that developed between siblings well.
It is nice knowing that this is your family. And now you grow together.
I've got zero kids so I don't know how I'll be, but I am pretty sure I will never fall into the Duggar camp. Mostly because I think they are what I would endearingly (or not) call batshit insane. Thanks for overpopulating your little corner of the world Duggars. Eesh.
And lady, no kidding you are short on patience! You're in the midst of selling and purchasing a home with three children under the age of 3.5. You deserve a medal! Or at least cake! Please let there be cake.
I feel like this is probably it for us. J was fine with just having LG but was OK with going for #2. I personally don't really know what I think about it all.At this point, I absolutely do not want another...but I really don't know how I'll feel in a couple of years.
I completely understand that. I've been going through Little Elvis' baby things for Baby Plum. I've been getting wistful, but this time next year I'm sure I will be singing a different tune.
Good luck on your sale! Sounds like your prices will definitely bring in customers.
I wish you good luck with the sale, and I can say that three kids is a very good number. I used to say I wanted four, but I soon changed my mind after delivering the third.
Um ... about that Pretty in Pink cassette? If you ever get nostalgic for it, I believe I have the same one.
I'll be happy to hang onto it for you, 'kay? :) Has your name all over it, fer sure.
I'm glad that you have decided and that you feel at peace with it. Everyone has to do what's most comfortable for them and what feels right. I wish that I could go to your yard sale ~ I *love* yard sales! hehe :) Jeff wants a third child *so* badly. I kind of think that we may have just one more and then be done.
Your family is beautiful!