3 on 3

This is week six of my mom's stay, and frankly it's been fantastic. Mamacita makes dinner every single evening, does all our laundry, burps babies in the middle of the night, brings me coffee in bed during the early morning nursing sessions, and does our grocery shopping. She keeps Isabella entertained for hours on end so I can spend hours on end nursing the twins. She's helping me clean and organize my disaster of a house so that when she leaves I won't drop to the floor, wrap my arms around her leg, and pull her back into the house because how in the hell am I supposed to care for a toddler, two infants, my house, my career, and myself by myself All.Day.Long?

The twins need the most care in the evenings, when fortunately there are three adults in the house. Most often, the hubs does Isabella's bedtime routine and endures the sometimes hours-long process of getting her to sleep. My mom and I each care for a twin, both of whom have decided that the hours of 6pm-12am don't suit them very well. We're both dealing with clean, fed, burped, and yet inconsolable babies during these hours. It is extremely unfun. I can't imagine what we're going to do when we're down one person next week.

I have a feeling I'm going to be crying. A lot.

While having my mom here has been a blessing, it hasn't all been a bowl of cherries. Like most adults, I haven't lived with my mom for any significant length of time since I was an 18 year old HS student. When I graduated from college, I moved to London, and then six months later, I did move home for five months until I found my full-time job and could make a speedy exit. It hasn't been difficult living with my mom as a full-fledged quasi-grownup with kids, but we've had our moments.

For example, Mamacita will often get Isabella up and dressed in the morning, and when she does, she always dresses Isabella in clothes my grandma (her mother) has purchased for her. And my grandma and I have vastly different taste in children's clothes. My daughter would be wearing a purple sweatsuit with the words "Born to be Spoiled" on it every single day of the week if I hadn't told my mom last week that while it was very sweet of grandma to purchase this outfit for Isabella, I hated it with a fiery passion. When I asked her why she never dressed Isabella in the clothes I've bought her (which comprise 98% of her wardrobe), my mother (who is a high school art teacher, mind you) said, "I don't know what shirts to put together with which bottoms."

Ahem. Moving on.

We've also been having fridge wars. A few weeks ago, I noticed the milk in my cereal was warm, as was my lunchtime yogurt. I checked my fridge thermometer and noticed someone had cranked down the temperature (the hubs likes things very cold as well and denied touching it). When confronted with the act, my mother said, "Yes, I turned it down, the lettuce was getting frostbite!" (it wasn't).

Isabella has developed an annoying habit of begging for food all day long. Lest you think I'm denying my child nutrition during a growth spurt, Isabella has three meals a day, plus two snacks. And yet, when I returned home from my week's stay in the hospital where Isabella was cared for by my mom, I found the little darling with some form of food in her mighty grip virtually 24/7. I quickly put an end to round-the-clock snacking, but routine is everything with a toddler. Isabella is now running to her grammy asking for snacks all the time. Grammy tells her, "Mommy said no."

Mommy = The Devil.

And, of course, I've had numerous comments concerning the use of formula. Did you know that the twins would sleep through the night if I would only give them a bottle of formula before they went to sleep at night? Despite proven medical evidence to the contrary and the numerous documented benefits of breastfeeding, Mamacita shares my grandma's belief in the Power of Formula. Of all the difficulties I've had with my mom during her stay, these comments piss me off the most. Breastfeeding twins is no cake walk. It is hard. It is time-consuming. It is exhausting. I don't want a medal for doing it. I just want support. Luckily, when I told her I was feeling unsupported by her comments, she reduced her remarks from 50 a day down to 25.

Despite all of these relatively minor issues, it's truly been great having my mom here. When you bring home a newborn, all your care, concern, and worry is directed away from yourself and your own recovery toward your new baby, and rightfully so. But with my mom here, she's been taking care of me in addition to helping with the twins and Isabella.

For her help following the births of my children, I will always be grateful.

12 Responses to “3 on 3”

  1. # Blogger MrsSpock

    My son is on formula, and definitely does NOT sleep through the night.

    And I do think you deserve a medal for breastfeeding twins.  

  2. # Blogger Mom24

    I also think you deserve a medal. I've formula fed 2 of mine and b/f 2. There's no difference in sleeping--don't you wish it was that easy? :-) I think you need to do what works for you, but after b/f my youngest 2, I would always try my best to go that route again.

    Good luck next week. Understatement of the year. It will be hard. You know that. It will get easier. Hopefully you know that too.  

  3. # Blogger Simply-Mel

    Yup, I breastfed all 3 of mine and my mom (supportively) remarked that I should 'top them up' at night with formula....I politely smiled and ignored her.

    I know it looks frigging awful right now. And thats because it is. But IT IS going to be okay.YOu will survive,maybe not with you dignity intact but survive you will.

    I wish I could be there to give you a hand. Hugs to ya.  

  4. # Blogger beagle

    I am glad it's been mostly good.

    And you can tell her that your friend who adopted a newborn who has never had anything but formula can attest to the fact that a baby that age still wakes up every 2.5 - 3 hours on Formula.

    Formula does not makes babies sleep any better than breast milk. Only age does that.

    (but what do I know??)  

  5. # Blogger Tracey

    And I had a baby who was exclusively breastfed and slept through the night at 5 days old.

    They're all different.

    Good luck, hon. Keep in mind that this WILL pass. And someday you WILL wistfully wish for these moments again. Thankfully, you'll have written proof that it ain't all soft cheeks and baby sighs...  

  6. # Blogger My Wombinations

    You have a lot of people pulling for you in those days after your mom leaves. Call, email, send a telegram and we will all help you. I am sure of it.

    The first full day I was alone with Alan and Sam was SO scary, but at the end of it I felt really accomplished. I am still terrified every morning when R leaves, but I always manage. I know 3 is harder than 2, but I think the idea is similar.

    You can do it.  

  7. # Blogger kenju

    I know you will miss her when she leaves. Until then, be patient - you are storing up treasures in Heaven!  

  8. # Blogger MIP

    Funny the difference in opinion between the generations, at least she has scaled back a bit. I am sure it will be a little rough when she leaves, but it sounds like you are doing a great job getting ready to be on your own. Good luck!  

  9. # Anonymous Ness

    Ha ha ha. I'm sorry, but you can tell your sweet mama, that she's welcome to fly to Cape Town, and personally witness how a bottle of formula (and also another 4x day plus 3 square baby meals does NOT ensure a night full of sleep. By any means. Seriously. Sure I think formula doth make a baby sleep longer, *BUT* that doesn't help much if they sleep from say 5pm to 11pm. To 3am. To 6am. See-ree-us.  

  10. # Blogger Sugar and Ice

    Well, my husband was solely formula fed....and he didn't sleep through the night until he was FIVE YEARS OLD...fo real. My friend's baby boy is a week older than my twins and he's up every 2.5 hours...strictly formula fed...and weighs 15 pounds!!

    My mother does the exact same thing as your mother with the "Mommy says no" thing. Thanks for reminding me of that actually; I think I'll tell her to cut that out.

    Also, with the formula thing, my mom and my husband both kept telling me to supplement with formula at night when the babies were in their first week or so of life. They were recommending it more so I could get an hour or two of sleep rather than to have the babies sleep through the night, but it was still annoying considering I kept telling them that it would ruin my supply. Finally, I had a minor meltdown and said something along the lines that I would kill them if they recommended it again. I haven't heard the word "formula" since.  

  11. # Blogger Pregnantly Plump

    I'm glad your mother has been so helpful. I can only imagine how busy you all must be. As for the issues, isn't that something all Mother/Daughter teams experience. I can be completely thankful and grateful for what an amazing grandmother my mom is, and then she will say something tiny and I will immediatly forget all the love and be angry.
    I'm sure your mother knows how appreciative you are.  

  12. # Blogger Shannon

    whoever said that they sleep longer on formula is full of crap... Lore sure didn't lol... and she was both boob juice and formula for 4ms...

    But, bless you and chas for bfing twins... i think you are both saints!!  

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