posted by Kristi
on Friday, November 16, 2007 at 8:00 AM
I'm not a fan of message clothing. I no more want "Juicy" emblazoned across my arse, than I do "Droopy" across my boobs. And color me conservative, but I don't want these messages, or any others, on my daughter's clothing either.
My reasons are well-documented here
and I won't bore you with rehashing them, but my basic beef with message apparel is that most of it is either a bit too precious, a bit too self-aggrandizing, or a bit (or way) too skanky.
Isabella received some clothing fitting the latter description when she was about a month old. Yesterday she received some of the former from my grandma, who went sale-shopping.
So, just in time for Thanksgiving, allow me to criticize, in a most ungrateful way, the gifts my daughter was just given. And yes, I'm fully aware that the gates of hell are opening as I'm typing this.
I love me too! But my psychiatrist says that supplementing my diet of chicken and cheese with the occasional green leafy vegetable and laying off the booze are better self-affirmation tools than wearing a t-shirt with this message on it.
This one's a little hard to read, given the glitter (shudder), but it says "Girls Are Just Better." I'm not exactly sure what to make of this shirt's message. "Better than" what? Rabid dogs? Wheels of smelly cheese? What? Please tell me. I must know.
This one I'm actually tempted to keep. The looks I would no doubt receive from passers-by after dressing Isabella in this and then plunking her in her stroller
or a shopping cart
for an hour or two could quite possibly entertain me for hours.
And then there's this, a horizontally-striped, tapered-leg pant. Has grandma no idea what this will do to my daughter's already voluminously padded hips and arse? I will not have my child appearing on What Not To Wear before I do.
Grandma also bought Isabella an Elmo doll. What you see are the flashing red eyeballs of said doll. I'm getting a distinctly Zoltar Speaks vibe from this, and if Isabella comes down the stairs this morning looking like Tom Hanks, Grandma is taking Elmo back to the store, stat.