A Memo to Sarah Palin

Following last night's debate performance by Sarah "Joe Sixpack" Palin, I thought I owed it to her to offer up a few ways she could garner a bit of favor in future interviews with her critics- you know, the "mainstream, elite media" who are clearly responsible for painting her as an intellectual lightweight through no fault of her own.

1. Don't wink at the camera. It doesn't make us like you more. It makes us like you less.

2. Using folksy, down-home language such as "darn right" and "doggone it" might appeal to the 1% of the viewing public who still give George W. Bush a favorable opinion rating. To the rest of us, it's grating and annoying and completely un(vice) presidential.

3. When a debate moderator or an interviewer asks you a question, answer it. Don't in essence declare that you could give a rat's arse what question the moderator asks you because you're going to recite your talking points "directly to the American public." We have the right to know where you and your running mate stand on the issues. Scripted and coached answers unrelated to the topic at hand don't cut it.

4. You may want to avoid stating that you believe the office of the Vice President should have more power than it already does. That kind of talk scares people. Americans have lived through 8 years of Dick Cheney's evil empire. We don't want a rerun.

5. If you're running on a platform of "change" and "country first," it might have been a good idea to differentiate your ticket's policies from those of the current administration. Most Americans aren't happy with the direction of the country, and you offered nothing to make us believe things would be any different in a McCain/Palin administration.

What did you think of last night's debate?

10 Responses to “A Memo to Sarah Palin”

  1. # Blogger Sasha

    Also: when your opponent chokes up regarding losing his wife and infant daughter in a genuine, real way TRY to act human. Yes, we know you are an evil robot, but at least pretend like you have a soul for the sake of the campaign.

    Honestly, that made me sick. She can talk her idiot talking points all day long and pretend like she is qualified to be VP all the doggone (!) day, but the main thing she showed last night is that not only does she lack intellectual curiosity and basic intelligence, she also lacks human compassion, which is scariest of all.  

  2. # Anonymous Lis Garrett

    Sasha ~ I know!!! I thought for sure Palin would, at the very least, LOOK AT BIDEN in response to his getting choked up, but she didn't even seem to notice.

    I could sense that, whenever the moderator asked a question, an invisible script would appear directly in front of Palin. It was all very rehearsed and unnatural, which was why she did so well!

    Hey! I'd like to give a shout out to my kids' elementary school this morning! Ya'll get extra credit today. Durn rootin' tootin'!  

  3. # Anonymous Ness

    Darn I must have missed it. Mind you it was probably on WAY after my bed time. :)  

  4. # Blogger Tracey

    We watched about 5 minutes and turned it off. Her voice was too grating for me... I honestly thought that Tina Fey was embellishing her accent, but NO! It was dead on.  

  5. # Blogger Shannon

    Pretty much everything you outlined, Kristi, is what I thought. The point of a debate is to answer the question put to you, not ramble about whatever topic you wish to.

    Also, YOU'RE NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, so nobody cares what YOU want or would do. Your job is to prop up your running mate and discuss HIS policies. When you talk about you too much, it's obvious that you are a wee bit power-hungry.

    One of the CNN talking heads that was on right after the debate discussed her litmus test for a vice presidential candidate: imagine this person in the situation room, discussing military strategy on 9/11, which is where Cheney found himself that day. He had to make the decisions such as whether or not to shoot any aircraft that was in American skies after all planes were grounded. Can you see Sarah Palin in the situation room making decisions such as these? Answer: NO EFFING WAY.  

  6. # Blogger Mom24

    I thought she totally won...the position of official hostess. VP? You have got to be kidding me. She is so unqualified it's terrifying. I was really disappointed Gwen Ifill didn't take her to task for that obnoxious comment about not answering the questions. You have to love how 3 months ago she had no idea what the VP does, but now she knows it's not enough. Change? Change? Seriously, how are people buying into that? I thought Joe Biden did a great job, I would have liked to see him go after her more, but he probably made the right decision. I am really frightened that they will win and she will end up president. I have no idea how she could conduct foreign policy with any country she can't see.  

  7. # Anonymous Veronica

    Oh, I couldn't stand listening to her voice last night.

    I agree with your points, and let me add that it's clear what McCain will do with her in the position of VP -- everything Cindy will be doing as well.

    I loved Biden's response to the question of what he will do as VP which is help Obama run the country.

    Palin will be running to charity events for kids with special needs.

    Come on! She's setting us back 40 years!  

  8. # Blogger Pregnantly Plump

    I was so frustrated last night when after the debate (which Biden clearly won) all these pundits were saying she did a great job! She didn't fall on her butt. That's all.
    When you expect the absolute worst -- say wanting to aim a nu-kew-loo-ar missile at Russia -- and she doesn't do that, then I guess it's considered a win.
    And I abhor the term Joe six-pack.  

  9. # Anonymous Amy

    Hate, hate, HATE the winking and the folksy talk--

    What I hate even more? The conservatives' strategy of demonizing education and intellectualism. I DON'T WANT a pres. or VP "just like me." (Not that I'm like Palin, but you know)

    Unfortunately, it's way more than 1% who like that stuff. This part of the country loves her--she's speaking here next Tuesday, and people have fallen all over themselves trying to get tickets. Just one of many, many reasons I'm moving.  

  10. # Blogger MIP

    Completely, completely agree with you. I was so frustrated by her avoiding the actual question and general dumbing down of her speech... the husband kept having to ask me to be quiet so he could hear the debate. And how many times did she call McCain a maverick? By the third I kind of wished I could kick her in the shin  

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