The question was almost laughable for me, given what I had to undergo to get pregnant both times. We've used no birth control since Isabella's birth. There seems to be very little chance of "getting pregnant naturally." That said, I figured, why not? We would hopefully have our family of four in November. I told her I would talk it over with the hubs, but that I was fairly sure I would want her to do the procedure.
A teeny, tiny little part of me, though, was thinking how very cool it would be to someday conceive naturally. To have that surprise baby we never thought we'd be able to make without the help of stirrups, a team of specialists, and an arsenal of drugs. Did I want to close that door to becoming a family of 5? Probably. But I was only 99.9% sure I wanted to slam the door completely.
It seems I'm getting that surprise baby after all.Yesterday, I had the "bonus ultrasound" my OB so graciously granted me when I told her I was a nervous wreck. It's a good thing I did.
Behold, the "bonus":
It seems my reproductive endocrinologist needs to go back to school to take Dildo Cam 101 again because I'm not having one baby.
I'm having twins.
The conversation I had with the nurse doing my scan went a little something like this:
Nurse: "So is this your first?"
Me: "No, I have a 20-month-old."
Nurse: "That's nice. Oh."
Nurse: "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"
Me: "Uh, a baby?"
Nurse: "Actually, there are two."
Me: "@#$%$$^%&^&^&^. Wow."
I was alone in that room when I got the news, as the hubs was unable to take the time off from work. To say that I was shocked (and still am shocked) would be a drastic understatement. To be told you're having twins, when you were told just three weeks ago that you were having a singleton, produces quite the aftershocks. I still have not wrapped my mind around what I was told. I had a fairly sleepless night.
But, with the news still less than 24 hours old, I do know this much: I still have every single one of the concerns I blathered about here. I am not going to pretend that I am not terrified, or that I know in my heart everything will be fine. But I also know my own strength. I can do this, and I'm also blessed with an extremely supportive family whom I will not even have to ask to help me. They will give of themselves until they cannot give any more, and I will have to learn to swallow my pride and accept their help.
Twins. Holy shit.