One is the Loneliest Number

One of the questions my OB asked me last week during my first prenatal appointment was how many children the hubs and I planned on having. Given that we were lucky enough to have one child with the possibility of another in November, I told her that if all went well, this baby would be our last. She asked me if I wanted her to tie my tubes, since I'm having another c-section, and she would have my guts open anyway.

The question was almost laughable for me, given what I had to undergo to get pregnant both times. We've used no birth control since Isabella's birth. There seems to be very little chance of "getting pregnant naturally." That said, I figured, why not? We would hopefully have our family of four in November. I told her I would talk it over with the hubs, but that I was fairly sure I would want her to do the procedure.

A teeny, tiny little part of me, though, was thinking how very cool it would be to someday conceive naturally. To have that surprise baby we never thought we'd be able to make without the help of stirrups, a team of specialists, and an arsenal of drugs. Did I want to close that door to becoming a family of 5? Probably. But I was only 99.9% sure I wanted to slam the door completely.

It seems I'm getting that surprise baby after all.

Yesterday, I had the "bonus ultrasound" my OB so graciously granted me when I told her I was a nervous wreck. It's a good thing I did.

Behold, the "bonus":

It seems my reproductive endocrinologist needs to go back to school to take Dildo Cam 101 again because I'm not having one baby.

I'm having twins.

The conversation I had with the nurse doing my scan went a little something like this:

Nurse: "So is this your first?"

Me: "No, I have a 20-month-old."

Nurse: "That's nice. Oh."

Me: "Oh?"

Nurse: "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

Me: "Uh, a baby?"

Nurse: "Actually, there are two."

Me: "@#$%$$^%&^&^&^. Wow."

I was alone in that room when I got the news, as the hubs was unable to take the time off from work. To say that I was shocked (and still am shocked) would be a drastic understatement. To be told you're having twins, when you were told just three weeks ago that you were having a singleton, produces quite the aftershocks. I still have not wrapped my mind around what I was told. I had a fairly sleepless night.

But, with the news still less than 24 hours old, I do know this much: I still have every single one of the concerns I blathered about here. I am not going to pretend that I am not terrified, or that I know in my heart everything will be fine. But I also know my own strength. I can do this, and I'm also blessed with an extremely supportive family whom I will not even have to ask to help me. They will give of themselves until they cannot give any more, and I will have to learn to swallow my pride and accept their help.

Twins. Holy shit.

24 Responses to “One is the Loneliest Number”

  1. # Anonymous Lis Garrett

    You also have a lot of friends who will help in any way they can. :-)

    (big hug)  

  2. # Blogger Jesser

    Oh. My. God! That is AMAZING. And WONDEFUL!!! And completely fabulous. And scary! And so cool!! WOW. I'm so so happy for you. But yikes, yes, way big surprise. Has your jaw come back together yet? I think I would have passed out. WOW. Congratulations. :)  

  3. # Blogger Marie

    WOW!!! I can imagine how your head must be spinning!

    Count me in among the helpers too...  

  4. # Blogger MsPrufrock

    Ack! What a surprise! Also, what a mistake on behalf of the RE. Doh!

    Congratulations. As I said when all of this was hypothetical, you will cope, even if it doesn't seem to you like you will be able to do so. It's beyond cliche, but we're mothers - coping and getting on with things is what we do.  

  5. # Anonymous Kris

    Oh my... congratulations! I have to admit to being a bit jealous, but at the same time not a bit jealous. I can't imagine how shocked you must be after thinking you were only having one! I'm so glad that you have so much family and from the looks of it, a lot of friends close by to help out! =)  

  6. # Blogger Pregnantly Plump

    Congratulations! I know it's got to be a shock, but a happy one. My dad is an identical twin, so I grew up thinking twins were the greatest.  

  7. # Blogger Tracey

    HOLY SHIT. Did you just hear me scream in Illinois?!? I am weeping tears of joy for you, hon. Truly, truly thrilled for you guys!!


  8. # Blogger shokufeh

    Wow! If I'm this shocked, I can't imagine you shocked you are. Wow! Yep, that's all that seems to be running through my head right now. What a discovery. Wow!  

  9. # Anonymous Shannon

    Twins! Holy cow, you must be in shock! I know my mom was when she found out she was having twins. Congrats!  

  10. # Blogger Editorgirl

    HOLY SHIT! I can't believe it! This is amazing! Congrats!  

  11. # Blogger My Wombinations

    You already know how I feel about this:) I have to say, I had some moments of jealousy, too! You are getting the three I want with only two pregnancies. I know it is scary, but I think in 20 years, you will be so grateful and feel beyond blessed with your family. I can't wait to help you in any way I can.  

  12. # Blogger Riley & Tiki

    Wow! Congratulations! We know there are worries, but we have faith you can do this.  

  13. # Blogger Mom24

    Oh Kristi! I have so many mixed emotions for you. I am very, very happy for you though. I am going to believe with all my heart that with everything you've been through to get where you are that everything will work out fine. I will keep you in my prayers. I can imagine how overwhelming it is though.

    I laughed as I read your post, because I, too, love that idea of a "surprise" baby. Greedy of me really, because I've had three of them. Yet each time, I have believed that it was not possible. I still believe that it is not possible for me to get pregnant again, and tempting as it is, I don't think we will tempt fate.

    Enjoy your surprise though. Try to take things one day at a time. For now, what a wonderful surprise. My surprises enrich my life every single day. I hope yours does too.  

  14. # Blogger Mom24

    At least it's not 6! :-)  

  15. # Anonymous Amy

    Kristi, Congratulations!!! That's amazing news!! I know you're nervous but I can't help it--I'm super excited for you, your husband, and Isabella. You'll do great, of course. I think we all agree on that. You have shocked me today, so I can't even imagine what you're feeling.

    P.S. Obviously I don't know what it's like to mother twins, but I can tell you that being a twin rocks.  

  16. # Anonymous Laura McIntyre

    I will EEK with you but
    congratulations. Im sure
    you will handle it wonderfully and love being a family of 5  

  17. # Blogger Hopeful Mother

    Kristi, I am smiling ear-to-ear for you. As a new mom of twins, I can tell you that some of your fears will disappear once those babies are here - and new ones will arise. :-) I'm not going to tell you that it's easy, but I know you guys can handle it. A lot of things are easier than I thought they would be. And a few things are harder. But all in all, I can't imagine it any other way.

    What an amazing surprise!!!  

  18. # Blogger l

    Holy shit is right! Well, the good news is that you, Isabella and the hubs will still outnumber the new arrivals.  

  19. # Blogger Angela

    OH WOW! Congratulations!!

    I can imagine it's scary, but still...WOW!

    So you'll tell us how you told your husband and his reaction right? :)


  20. # Anonymous Lisanne

    WHOA!!!!!!!!! I totally did a double take when I saw that picture! I can't believe it! SO happy for you!!!!!!!! I think that twins would be SO neat!!!  

  21. # Blogger sher

    Oh my! I am feeling so emotional after learning this. I have tears in my eyes. Kristi, I feel such happiness for you. Enormous happiness. You will figure how to do this for yourself. And your family and friends will help too. I just wish I lived near you to help. I'd bake you a cake each week! Hugs! HUGS!  

  22. # Blogger Damselfly

    WOW!!! I'm in awe of you.  

  23. # Blogger Shannon

    OMG how did I miss this post!!! CONGRATS girl!!! Whoop!  

  24. # Blogger The Princess

    How on earth it took me this long to respond is beside me!!

    After I absorbed the wonderful news I remember my toddler screaming at me for something and then baby screaming at for something and then I totally forgot.

    I just remembered now that I owe you a huge congrats!!

    I'm so estatic for you and your husband and Isabella. This is amazing news!!  

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