So I realize the posts around here have been few and far between. I haven't posted since last Sunday, which I believe is the longest stretch of time between posts since Isabella was born. And while I was fielding 27,000 calls a day from my manager last week, picking pureed sweet potato out of my hair for three straight days, and trying to figure out how it was meteorologically possible to go from 60 degrees (whoo-hoo, we went for a walk outside!) one day to 27 degrees (hell and damnation, we were stuck climbing the walls in the house again) the next, the truth is, I felt creatively and emotionally tapped out. My life is so incredibly teeny, tiny, small now, that truthfully? Nothing much is going on worth writing about.

Don't believe me?

Here's what's new in my life. Judge for yourself, and please try not to fall asleep halfway through. And if you do, don't tell me about it. My ego can't take the beating.

1. My mom visited this past weekend. I didn't change one dirty diaper for three whole days because she practically inhaled my child. Bliss, thy name is "new grandma." She hadn't seen Isabella since Christmas, and I do believe if she could have, she would have climbed into Isabella's crib with her and slept beside her each night. Which apparently, she actually did with me when I was a baby. Um, yeah.

2. I am developing back problems. At first I thought it was because of our new (and defective) foam mattress. But we recently had it replaced with one that didn't sag into two permanent valleys where our bodies lay each night, and the back problems persisted. So I've narrowed it down to the enormous boobs I'm sporting (thanks, breastfeeding) or to hauling around an almost 15 pound baby all day, every day. The odd thing is that my lower back only hurts when I'm in bed at night, and first thing in the morning until I've gotten up and walked around. Do I sound like your arthritic Aunt Gertie yet?

Thrilling, I know. But wait! There's more.

3. I am turning 31 years old next week, and I can't think of a single thing I want for my birthday (or at least something that's actually feasible). When I go to the mall or to Target (holla!) now, I shop for the kid or the hubs. I refuse to buy myself any shirts because as it is, most of the ones I already own make me look like I've been augmented (someone out there please tell me the girls will go back to their normal size once I've finished breastfeeding), and I'm counting on them fitting again once August rolls around and I've finished nursing the wee one. So yeah, birthday coming, and no excitement about it whatsoever.

4. There was a What Not To Wear marathon on TLC about a week ago. My DVR recorded every single episode. I have been in eyes-glazed-over heaven watching what has amounted to visual crack. I cannot get enough of Stacy and Clinton. Love. Them.

You understand now, don't you? You're nodding your head. You've said aloud to yourself, "Geez. I hate to admit it, but she's right. Her life really is so teeny, tiny small now. This blog used to be somewhat-to-moderately entertaining to read. And now? Well, not so much."

And right this second, you're trying to figure out how to access your template in the new Blogger so you can remove my blog from your blogroll.

But I'm not going to stop writing here. I may be treading water now, but sooner or later, something of import is going to happen to me. And I will write about it here. And the two readers I have left will laugh. They will cry. They will smile and nod their heads. They may even give me an "Amen, sister!" These two readers will tell their friends and family to check out my blog, and pretty soon my comments section will be alive with the sound of music once again.

I promise I will post again before Friday. Writing this here will actually make me do it, so there you have it. And on Friday of this week, I'm starting a new weekly tradition inspired by one of you.

Hopefully it will pull this pathetic blog (and me along with it) out of the soul-sucking hole it's been stuck in for the past week or so.

13 Responses to “If A More Mundane Post Exists in the Blogosphere, I Sure As Hell Haven't Read It”

  1. # Blogger kenju

    I am NOT going to erase you! You have a good excuse for being absent. I laughed at your comment about your mom; and I recall wanting to sleep next to my grandbabies too. I had 5 of mine here this weekend for 2 nights. It was great, but after they left I went to bed for a good nap. How tiring they can be, even to a woman who is very active...LOL

    Try this with your back pain. In bed, sleep with a pillow under your knees if you are on your back, and between your knees if you are on your side. I am almost certain it is caused by lifting the baby so much. If you lift your knees, it takes the pressure off your lower back when you lie down.  

  2. # Blogger Clare Eats

    Hey! Kenju just stole my tip about the pillow :) so it probably will work!

    But you can also try:
    When in the shower have the water as hot as you can stand and have it blast at your neck, standing up nice and straight cross your arms in front and holding your belly button to your back SLOWLY let your head drop forward. Allow the weight of your body to let your head slowly pull your shoulders down, you want to kind of roll down your body. You also want to make sure your hips stay of your knees. The water should stay on the part of your back that is currently bending forward. If you stop curling just take a deep breath and relax it will happen as the muscles release. NOTE!!! It should NEVER HURT
    To come up bend your knees and push up through ur hips.
    It really does help!  

  3. # Blogger Michelle

    Ok...seriously-- that post cracked me up. I love it-- because it's so real...and so my life! :)
    Um...I'd like to hear about Isabella's lastest milestones?
    I'm a wee concerned that Maddy hasn't rolled yet...and she si nowhere near crawling. She is approaching 6 months on April 2.  

  4. # Blogger Marie

    You're funny Kristi. Did #4 come with your Mom?

    Sounds like you're ready for spring. I know I am!

    I have the lower back thing too -- ever since having a baby. My bed is bad, but it happens no matter where I lay down. The only thing that helps me is the lower back machine at the Y. That thing is a godsend.  

  5. # Blogger My Wombinations

    this was a great and funy post. But I hear you on the "small life" front. I too have been working on a post discussing Stacy and Clinton (still in draft form). Motherhood... what can I say. Hang in there:) The weather HAS to improve sometime. Right?  

  6. # Blogger Shannon

    I totally know what you mean... since my car is dead I can't go anywhere during the day... I'm bored and feel like my world is this big... bleck... and I only pumped for 4 months and my boobs still haven't returned to normal size... they went down a little but not so much lol... and my back hurts from time to time because of them too...  

  7. # Blogger Anne Marie

    I feel your pain. I had the same back pain while home with my daughter as well. It's the extra weight of baby and boobs. I would recommend a trip to a massage therapist or a chiropractor. Both will do wonders. I took the chiro route. As for the girls, they do shrink unfortunately when you stop. I think I'm smaller than I was when I started... The hubby says it's only because I haven't seen them in so long. I sorta miss the Dolly Parton days...  

  8. # Blogger sher

    This is funny--because I inhaled your post. Loved it (well, I wish there were pictures of you and Isabella). I think all of us understand that you're incredibly busy, so we understand how you can't post often. But, your posts are NEVER boring!! I look forward to them and always check to see if you've written anything new.

    For a birthday present--how about a nice massage? And lifting 15 pounds constantly would be a killer. By the way, my husband had horrible back and leg pain and nothing seemed to work. He had acupuncture--and the pain went away almost immediately. He was amazed. He's gone several times, because the pain does creep back--and each time--poof! It's gone.  

  9. # Anonymous ramona

    OH! I like Clare's advice, that sounds really good.
    Your posts are NEVER boring, and I'd never delete you!
    How are the baby food recipes coming along?  

  10. # Blogger Damselfly

    "And right this second, you're trying to figure out how to access your template in the new Blogger so you can remove my blog from your blogroll." LOL! I haven't figured this out completely myself -- mostly because I don't have the time -- but the trick to writing about the mundane parts of our lives seems to be posting lots of pics, making a joke out of everything, and using! exclamation! marks!

    I hear ya about the shirts. Every new shirt I've gotten makes me look top-heavy. Oh, wait, that's because I *am* top-heavy....

    Having your mom visit isn't so mundane, though, especially if she was on diaper duty. Now if she could nurse Isabella, that would really be something, eh?  

  11. # Blogger sunShine

    My mom is the same way with the babe. I think if she could inhale him she would, literally. Where is she at 2am when he is crying and refuses to go back to sleep??? Yes your boobs will go away, sad to say, you might even miss them. I miss mine sometimes. Sorry you are having back pain, I understand.  

  12. # Blogger Christine

    Bah, I wouldn't say your life is "teeny tiny" but I could imagine how it might feel that way. Soon spring will be hear and the Wee Beastie, turned Isabella will be out there enjoying it with you. And no, I would never erase you!  

  13. # Blogger Kristi

    Kenju-Thanks for the sleeping tip. I'm definitely going to give it a try.

    Clare-It's so great to hear from you! I'm trying your tip too.

    Michelle-I wouldn't worry about Maddy's not rolling at all. Isabella rolls, but HATES being on her stomach, so I have this suspicion she will be one of those babies who skips crawling altogether.

    Marie-It was a glorious #4-free weekend!

    My Wombinations-I can't wait to read your Clinton and Stacy post. Love them!

    Shannon-Oh no! I want my regular-sized boobs back!

    Anne Marie-I so hope they shrink. I'm not a fan of my well-endowed look at all.

    Sher-I was thinking about getting a massage, but I'm one of those weird people who actually don't really like the whole spa thing. If my pain persists though, I might consider it.

    Ramona-They're coming along really well, actually. I'm working on a post about it, so stay tuned!

    Damselfly-If she could feed Isabella, that would rock.

    Sunshine-I won't miss the boobs at all. I actually hate them, believe it or not!

    Christine-today is the first day of spring. And it's 20 degrees here. :(  

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