Why Isabella Hates My PDA

Last week I finally got my hair cut, after having gone months and months without so much as a trim. You'll be pleased to know I no longer look like a bushwoman. My stylist, whom I absolutely adore because he works miracles with my pathetically limp, thin, and brittle hair, was telling me about the latest cruise he's going on later this month. Having never gone on a cruise before, I asked him what it was he liked so much about cruising (in a ship, people. Keep your minds out of the gutter). He said he loves the fact that you can have access to so many restaurants, bars, stores, etc. all without leaving the confines of the boat. He loves the relaxed atmosphere. Everyone is always in a good mood. And then he mentioned how much he enjoys the schedule that arrives like clockwork under his cabin door every morning, which announces the time of the special events of the day onboard the ship, the drink specials at the bar, and any excursions planned for the ports the boat would dock at that day, so that cruisers can plan their day accordingly.

I am trying to find a way to force Isabella to do me a similar courtesy.

Let it be known that I most often thrive on predictability. Spontaneity and I? Usually, we don't get along. I schedule vacation itineraries down to the nanosecond, much to the absolute delight of my husband (except not). I start planning Christmas and birthday gifts for people months in advance. I make lists and check tasks off as I accomplish them. I like to know where I'm going and what I'm doing on any given day at least 24 hours in advance, and more if possible. Can you see how a six week old baby's unpredictability could drive me slightly to moderately insane?

Most days, Isabella takes a morning nap around 10am. However, some days she doesn't. Sometimes she's interested in nursing on the every two-to-three hour schedule I've set up for her, and sometimes I feel like I'm attempting to rise Lazarus from the dead to get her to eat. And sometimes she's awake for hours on end and as pleasant as punch, and sometimes she's a demon child hell bent on forcing her mother to pull out her already thin (although freshly cut!) hair one strand at a time.

I know I'm being ridiculous, because in talking with friends with babies, no one had established a schedule for their child at Isabella's age. But just imagine how nice it would be for me to take her to her changing table to put on her first fresh diaper of the morning and find the following schedule laying beneath her (always clean and fresh!) little cheeks:

7:00am-7:40am Nurse me, mom, I'm hungry, after sleeping through the entire night so you don't resemble a creature from Night of the Living Dead.

7:40am-8:30am Nap time! Go ahead and shower and get ready for the day, mom. I promise I won't awake screaming so that it's 1 o'clock before you find your three-quarters full yogurt container from breakfast sitting on the bathroom counter.

8:30am-10:30am Play time. I'll be a sweet little darling as we play my favorite games, including looking at lights and playing with my floormat jungle toy, two of my favorites.

10:30am-11:30am Feed me, Seymour. And no thrashing from gas, or falling asleep on the job. Straight nursing, mom, without the bullshit.

11:30am-2:00pm Afternoon naptime. Go ahead, mom. Finish those thank you notes before my 5th birthday. Cut the cats' nails, each of which is likely wrapped three times around its associated paw right now, it's been so long since they've been cut.

2:00pm-4:00pm Take me out for a walk. I'll stay awake for awhile, which gives you enough time to show me off to the neighbors. And when I get home, I promise I won't scream once the motion of the stroller jolts me back to consciousness.

4:00-4:10pm Daddy's home! And just for you, mom, I saved my most lethal "deposits" just for him.

Well, a girl can dream right?

PS: Stay tuned for a post coming soon that has nothing to do with motherhood. It was never my intention to turn this into a mommyblog, however I've realized all my most recent posts are about just that! I'll give you a hint on the topic: politics, baby! One of my favorites.

15 Responses to “Why Isabella Hates My PDA”

  1. # Blogger Marie

    LOL! Yeah, you can dream Kristi!!

    Hard as it is to imagine, you will see some predictability emerging... I think for us it was around 3 months.

    So you must love it when I call & say "want to meet us at the library in half an hour?"  

  2. # Blogger sunShine

    You can always dream. Then you wake up!

    I didn't want my blog to be a "mommyblog" either, but my blog is about my life and since becoming a mother, my child is the most important thing in my life, I find that I write about him the most.  

  3. # Blogger Binulatti

    I was gonna say something, mommyblogger, but you beat me to the punch. [In my best Bill Maher: "I kid the new mother"].  

  4. # Blogger Christine

    Bah, you deserve some mommyblogging. Especially with such a rebel daughter...

    But yay for having any entry from you. And I welcome a discussion of politics...because sweet mama, what a world we live in these days.  

  5. # Blogger Beagle

    Dream away . . . but Isabella is the boss in the end. :-)

    Isn't the whole point of IF blogging to become a mommyblogger?

    You're "allowed"!  

  6. # Blogger Kross-Eyed Kitty

    Good gawd girl! You are SOOO allowed to be a mommy-blogger, and remember...I live vicariously through you!
    I've noticed, that when i am the person being spontaneous It's always a GREAT idea. However, other people's spontaneity...uh, sorry...nope, not gonna go for it!
    Loved Isabella's schedule, it sounds so perfectly reasonable!!! LOL!  

  7. # Blogger Christy

    We like the mommyblog!! I find it rather amusing...I like knowing where I'm going on vacations. But otherwise, I'm pretty open to what we do!

    Cruise sounds like something you enjoy...if you got the iteniary the night before!!! Your little girl sounds too cute. I cant wait to see more pictures. You don't still call her "beastie" do you??  

  8. # Blogger Shannon

    lol... you crack me up... at 4 months Lorelei is still not on a schud.... keep wishing girl...  

  9. # Blogger The Princess

    Oh yes....we are kindred spirits my dear for this was my BIGGEST complaint about motherhood! Don't they realize how much better they'd feel if they just stuck to a schedule?

    The babe didn't realize this until 7 months...obviously she has more of her Dad's genes!!  

  10. # Blogger The Princess

    Oh yes....we are kindred spirits my dear for this was my BIGGEST complaint about motherhood! Don't they realize how much better they'd feel if they just stuck to a schedule?

    The babe didn't realize this until 7 months...obviously she has more of her Dad's genes!!  

  11. # Blogger l

    Guess you're gonna have to learn to go with the flow.... Isabella's flow.  

  12. # Blogger HoosierGirl5

    There is nothing wrong with being a "mommyblog".

    As for the schedule, well, keep trying....


    Ps. I liked the baby outfits in the previous post.  

  13. # Blogger sher

    I also love any of the mommy stuff--especially when it has a picture of Ella!!!! I love reading whatever you write.  

  14. # Blogger M

    My sentiments exactly. I'm having a hard time with the night times. If i could just know ahead of time how she was going to sleep, I could plan accordingly. HAHAHA  

  15. # Blogger Kristi

    Marie-No, the library was great. I need to be dragged out of my comfort zone every once and awhile.

    Sunshine-That makes sense. And of course, there's nothing wrong with mommyblogs. I read a ton of them myself.

    Karrie-LOL. Cut me some slack there, Jack.

    Christine-I miss blogging on politics, so let the games begin!

    Beagle-Thanks! It's funny. This wasn't an IF blog (but it sort of turned into one) and it's not a mommyblog (but it seems to be turning into one now).

    Ramona-I'm with you on the spontaneaty. But I'm so infrequently spontaneous myself that it's hard to roll with it in others.

    Christy-Nope. I don't call her Beastie anymore. I call her Chicken, because when she was born, that's what she looked like. My family just loooves that nickname. lol.

    Shannon-A girl can dream, right?

    Princess-Life would be so good if only she'd schedule her life in 30 minute increments!

    L-You said it!

    Hoosiergir-I agree. Mommyblogs are great. I read them. I just didn't intend for mine to turn into one.

    Sher-Aww.. thanks. That's so sweet.

    M-You and me both!  

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