No Urge to POAS

Counting today, I have three more days to wait until my bloodtest. The past few days have been relatively easy for me, since I've been able to keep my mind off things by being pretty busy, and my husband is doing a good job of keeping me distracted. It's always on my mind, of course, lurking around there in the background. It's hard to talk with my husband or my friends or family about anything that's happening after Sunday. It's as if a week and a half ago, someone pressed the Pause button on my life. I'm in a holding pattern until Sunday, and anything that's taking place after that day is irrelevant. Which makes the whole "planning for Christmas and my sister's visit" thing kind of difficult. It's a wonder I've been able to do any Christmas shopping at all.

Many of my blog friends and one of my "real life" friends who have gone through IVF have taken an over-the-counter pregnancy test prior to their scheduled bloodtest. Obviously, the suspense in waiting to see if this very expensive science experiment worked is high for everyone that's endured the six-week process. And like them, I want to know too! But, when going through any kind of fertility treatment, the woman has to inject herself 36 hours before the insemination (or in my case, the egg retrieval) with HCG, a hormone designed to trigger ovulation for insemination patients, and which will give eggs a final growth spurt prior to retrieval for IVF patients. This hormone can stay in your system for up to two weeks. This is the same hormone measured by over-the-counter pregnancy tests.

Can you see where this is going? I could take a pregnancy test prior to Sunday and get a positive. A potentially false positive. To then go on Sunday to get a bloodtest, and have a nurse at my doctor's office call and tell me it was negative would be devastating. And at this point, I'm in too fragile a state to chance that.

So, I'll wait. Impatiently. Nervously. And very, very scared. Until Sunday, if I make it that far. A natural (if anything about this process can be considered "natural") female event may occur prior to Sunday, which would make the bloodtest unnecessary. But for now, for this moment, my gut tells me I'll make it until Sunday. Whether I'll get the result I want, well, that I don't know.

5 Responses to “No Urge to POAS”

  1. # Blogger Marie

    The fact that there have been no signs to the contrary is very good news, Kristi!

    I didn't know that the hormones you've taken could give you a false positive... harumph. I can understand why you're waiting!

    3 more days... !!! Must seem like an eternity, but it'll be here before you know it.  

  2. # Anonymous Anonymous

    Kristi...

    Can you email me your email...? I don't have it (long story) and I really need to send you something today...

    Love,
    Veronica  

  3. # Blogger eat stuff

    I am here in Australia thinking about you....  

  4. # Blogger Ramona

    I haven't caught up on blogging all week, so tonight's the night, i'm doing my catching up.
    Do what you think you must do for yourself. You are going through a MAJOR life event! Take your time...
    Just keep breathing deep, thinking positive, and know that there are plenty of people out there hoping that THIS IS IT! for you.
    I'm one of them.  

  5. # Blogger Kristi

    Marie-It IS an eternity. But it's almost here.

    Clare-Thank you! It's nice to know someone halfway around the world is thinking of you.

    Alisha-I can't wait either. Whatever the outcome, I just want it to be over!

    Amy-Thank you. That means a lot.

    Ramona- Thank you. I'm so hoping this is IT too.  

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    mother to a daughter
    born in August 2006 following
    IVF and girl/boy twins born in October 2008 following FET. Come along as I document the search for my lost intellect. It's a bumpy ride. Consider yourself warned.

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