Needless to say, today is going to be rough.
I am not sorry to see 2010 end.
This year was better than 2009 in a lot of ways. I am no longer parenting three under 3 (and a few months). This is not to say that parenting twin toddlers and a precocious preschooler is any easier, but I now have three kids that sleep through the night.
This is huge.
In addition to emerging from the twinsanity of sleepless nights, 2010 was the year that I finally started running competitively after 7 years of running purely for fun. I ran six races: four 5Ks and two 10Ks, and ended up grabbing second place in my age division in one 5K and 3rd place in my age division in one 10K. I ran a 23:21 5K, which isn't super-fast, but it's a time I'm really proud of.
Of course, I never did run the September half-marathon I trained for all spring and summer. A double calf-strain sustained in August trashed the months of hard work I put in to getting ready. But with some perspective, I'm now able to see the positive in my training. I ran 10 miles twice. I ran 11.5 miles, my last long run before getting injured. One year ago, I never thought it would be possible for me to run that long. And I did it, and at an 8:36 pace. I know I would have run a 1:50 half-marathon.
On May 1st, I hope to prove that I can.
But 2010 has been tough. I'm now almost 4.5 years into this parenting while working somewhere between part-time, and three-quarters-time, sans childcare, and I still cannot figure it out. I am stressed a lot. I work too late at night, which leaves me cranky and severely lacking in patience the next day. I love my kids but most days, I would give anything for someone to take them out of my house for a few hours every day to give me some peace. I believe I would be a much better mother if I worked a traditional FT job. I am not cut out to be with them all day, every day.
The work-life balance remains elusive. But in September, when Luci and Nicholas head to preschool three mornings a week thankyouJesus, and hopefully, Isabella is able to begin morning Kindergarten (in my district, you can request AM or PM Kindergarten, but are not guaranteed your choice) I hope some semblance of balance will emerge.
Thank you for your support, your kindness, and your readership this year. Your comments bolster me in ways you can't even imagine. It hasn't been a sunshine, rainbows, and puppies kind of year here, but perhaps in 2011, a little light might seep in under the door.
Happy New Year, everyone.