Bumped

Today is our 8th wedding anniversary. We received the gift of a bump notice, which is real estate-speak for "you're getting screwed out of the house on which you had an accepted purchase offer."

The jig is up. The big, beautiful four-bedroom house with the gorgeous kitchen, the huge backyard, and the family room that would easily accommodate Isabella, Luci, and Nicholas and all their toys and books and various gear will soon belong to someone else who put in a better offer on the house than we did. At 8pm on the dot, the real estate agent representing those buyers turned up at our doorstep, and we signed a document acknowledging the bump.

Throughout this process, I maintained that I was not getting attached to the house. I told excited friends and family members that it wasn't a done deal, that in fact it was a long-shot that we would ever make that house our home. Our offer, although accepted by the sellers, was low, and easily subject to someone else coming in with a higher one. I didn't look around the house when we had our inspection late last week. I was excited, but very tentatively so.

But the fact is, I was attached, and I didn't realize the extent to which I was until I learned just before dinner tonight that we were getting bumped. I had selected which of the bedrooms would belong to which of my kids. Isabella would finally have a bedroom, a real little girl's room, instead of a space that's essentially a glorified closet. The twins would immediately be moved into separate bedrooms, where they would have a much better chance of sleeping through the night and taking decent naps, since the cries of one wouldn't immediately wake up the other. I cannot tell you how much I was looking forward to this.

I pictured the playset, complete with the swings Isabella covets, erected in the backyard space we'd finally have. I saw the kids playing in the living room while I cooked (or rather, reheated) in the kitchen while keeping an eye on them through the window opening in the kitchen that looked out over the living room. I envisioned the small coats hanging on the low-hung hooks in the mudroom, the kids' shoes lined up neatly below. I relished the idea of the large master bedroom with the private bathroom located down the hall from the kids' rooms. I looked forward to not having to tip-toe around the room at night, avoiding closing dresser drawers and side-stepping squeaking floorboards, lest we wake the kids whose rooms are located directly next to ours on our small second story. We talked about being able to have the twins' first birthday party in that house, which was such a big deal to us because my grandma's big garage, which is set up as living space in the warm months and where we have Isabella's summer birthday, won't be open in October. This house had the space to accommodate our large extended family easily. And I couldn't wait to once again have my sister and my mom be able to stay with us, something they haven't been able to do since the twins were born, because the house had a room that would serve as my office but also as a guest room. It was that big. There was that much space.

The house had limitless potential. It was a home from which we didn't plan on having to move until Luci and Nicholas graduated from high school, and maybe not even then. And although it was never ours to begin with, I could very clearly see us raising our family there. It had everything we ever needed and more.

A "For Sale" sign was hammered into my front lawn not an hour after we received the news of the bump. The sight of it literally makes me nauseous. The fact that we killed ourselves for an entire week to get our house ready to sell because we needed to get a buyer quickly was all for naught. The idea of having to sell our house and having no place to move to is terrifying. Of course we would make any offer we accept contingent upon us having a house to move into, but how many buyers out there will be willing to wait? A very big part of me doesn't want to sell at all right now. There is nothing on the market in the area in which we're looking for the price we need.

I can't even entertain the idea that there's something better out there for us. That this house wasn't meant to be. Because even though I tried to keep my emotional distance from it, I truly thought it was.

Perhaps there's a silver lining somewhere. Right now, though, as is my way, I'm having a very hard time seeing anything but the clouds.

21 Responses to “Bumped”

  1. # Blogger Veronica

    I don't want to give you false hope, but the deal isn't done yet.

    The other buyers that bumped you need to get through the closing a lot can happen in that time -- for example, their financing can fall through and they still don't get the house and the house stays on the market.

    But, I do think you should move. I think you need to keep looking, because you'll find the right place.

    My parents had made an offer on a foreclosed home 10 years ago and the bank had accepted the offer. Then came along someone else and offered higher. My parents wanted to buy a condo in a very specific building. They didn't even want the neighborhood -- they wanted that building and it was taken right from under them.

    After resigning themselves that they had lost their one last opportunity, their real estate agent said she had found another apartment, also a foreclosure -- two doors down, in the same building.

    And the kitchen was nicer and it had hardwood floors and the price was perfect.

    Maybe this particular house isn't for you -- but there is another one that is. Just keep looking.  

  2. # Anonymous Jenny

    Oh no, that sucks!

    I like what Veronica wrote though... great points.

    If that house doesn't work out for you, that means THE perfect one is going to pop up for you. It will be everything the other house was, and more!  

  3. # Blogger In Due Time

    I hate house hunting. I'm sorry you lost the offer. Maybe something will happen to the other buyers offer. Heh.

    Hang in there.  

  4. # Blogger Simply-Mel

    This was such an emotional post. I can so feel your dreams slip through your fingers. I do hope you are able to find something even better! Or that the bumpees run into finance trouble!

    YOu do need to move Kristy - your life will be easier with more space - try not to let this disappointment unhinge your process. Lots of love to you.  

  5. # Blogger In transit

    Veronica says it all! We went through a similar thing last year before buying our place. Offer accepted, rejected, then, TWO MONTHS later, agent contacted us, almost begging us to put in another offer! (we did, and lower, and it was accepted) so....... it's VERY cliche, but if it's meant to be, it will be. In the meantime, enjoy your clutter free home, and maybe something else will come up.  

  6. # Blogger Mom24

    That's really, really awful. I'm so sorry. I can imagine how horrible you're feeling right now. I truly hope there's a silver lining in this somewhere for you. I know it's impossible to see right now.  

  7. # Blogger My Wombinations

    I am so sorry. Something similar happened to us. I am still hoping that deal falls through. I emailed you offline.  

  8. # Blogger Christine

    I'm so so sorry. I'm hoping for that other house to show up, the house that is even better than the one you had your eye on. Thinking of you.  

  9. # Anonymous Lis Garrett

    When I was in the 7th grade, my parents put an offer on a gorgeous house that, even as a kid, I got completely attached. What would have been my upstairs bedroom had a bay window and a walk-out balcony. How cool is that for a teenage girl?! But our offer fell through, and we were all devastated.

    BUT . . . we looked around some more and ended up in a house that was even better. I moved to a neighborhood and school I wouldn't have attended otherwise and met my best friend (she was the one who was here in July). So many awesome things happened because we didn't move in to that original house.

    I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. I can understand your heartache, but the perfect house WILL come along. Hang in there!  

  10. # Blogger shokufeh

    I am so sorry. I can imagine your extreme disappointment. However, as someone who didn't just have her heart broken...
    Call me a dreamer, but I throw my lot in with the others who think something better is on the horizon. It will all come together.  

  11. # Blogger Jamie

    Ugh. It can't ever just be easy can it?

    There must be another house out there waiting for you. One that will hopefully feel even more like the home you are meant to have.  

  12. # Anonymous Sugar & Ice

    Well...that stinks! I am so sorry!!

    I haven't had anything exactly like that happen, but I have had an offer rejected on a house I loved. Everything did end up working out for the best in the end, but it was oh so disappointing at the time. I hope you find another house you love as soon as someone is interested in buying yours. You never know what might go on the market tomorrow!  

  13. # Blogger Holly at Tropic of Mom

    My heart is breaking for you. It's easy to get attached to a house, to places, when you think of them as being a home. Even though you're not inclined to think of it, I do hope there will be a better house for you -- or else that the bump won't work out for some reason.  

  14. # Anonymous Ness

    I have *so* been where you are.

    BUT I can tell you that it is either meant to be, or it isn't.

    Just imagine how great the house that you're supposed to get is going to be?

    IF you're meant to have this house - then don't sweat it - anything can happen - and the people who 'bumped you' could lose their sale etc - so try not to think about it too much - just think how great a job you did decluttering etc.

    I'm a firm believer in stuff like the secret - and by prepping your house for sale - you've created a vacuum, and nature/the universe just loves to fill those - so there's a house out there right now gearing up to welcome you as it's new family - and maybe the family living there doesn't even know it yet!  

  15. # Anonymous Kell

    So when we moved, our twins were 1. we put in an offer, it was accepted, we sold our house, we had the new one inspected, then the owners backed out of the sale. We had a closing date on our home and no where to go (that same day a tree fell on our house, and that also had to be fixed, it rains it pours). So we found our current house which was DISGUSTING but all that was available, it made my commute 20 minutes longer than in would have been, and was a lot more work than the other house. BUT it is beautiful now, the kitchen and yard are both nicer than the other house, our neighbors are amazing and the kids have friends all the way up and down the street, AND we have 3 babysitters within walking distance. My point? Sometimes things work out better than we expect. Now right now in my life I have trouble believing that but it is true, and a better house FOR YOU is out there... it is... and you will find it at just the right time.

    You can have the twins bday at my house ;). Our yard is big enough for your family, and it is usually nice in Oct.  

  16. # Blogger Pregnantly Plump

    I'm so sorry. I completely understand. It's hard not to get your hopes up, especially once a bid is accepted. Maybe the new deal will fall through. Still will wish you good luck with the sale of your house. That will certainly help if you do find another house of your dreams.  

  17. # Blogger Cape Cod Kitty

    Oh, I am so sorry to hear this news, and Veronica certainly said it all in her post. There are all sorts of things which can happen regarding the house you would like. Keep moving forward with your plan and the right thing will happen. As someone else said, you have created a space in your life for abundance and the right house to come your way.
    Nonetheless, it is a bitter pill to swallow right now. You have amazing strength but I am sure right now it feels like you've been kicked.
    Hugs and comfort to you.  

  18. # Blogger Hopeful Mother

    I'm sorry.

    I agree with Veronica - it's not over until it's over. And, if not this house, then certainly you will find another house.

    I know it sounds like platitudes - but it's true. Really.  

  19. # Blogger Marie

    I am so sorry, Kristi. I hope that this or something better will be out there soon. And as much as you had your hopes set on this one, you don't know what will be listed next week, or next month.  

  20. # Blogger Jesser

    Blech. I hate all of this for you. Just hoping it works out perfectly in the end.  

  21. # Blogger kenju

    Kristi, in my many years of experience, when that kind of thing happens, you were just not meant to be there and something will come along that is even more perfect for you and your family.

    Happy Anniversary!  

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