Creating Normal

My mom leaves tomorrow.

For seven weeks, I have had the safety net of a second set of arms to rock babies screaming through the night and a second pair of legs to chase after a toddler who never stops moving. When I was sick of holding babies after marathon nursing sessions, she took over. When I was too tired to pour a cup of coffee, she brought one to me. When Isabella was crawling up my leg begging for attention while I held one fussy baby on my shoulder with the other crying in hunger and needing to be fed, she distracted her.

Tomorrow, it's just me. And three little kids, all of whom are incredibly needy.

I am truly terrified.

I know people do this. Somehow (although it seems impossible now) I will create and adapt to the "new normal" others have spoken about. I will begin a routine just as I did when Isabella was born. I will find time to shower. I will find time to work, to blog, to eat an uninterrupted and possibly even warm meal, to start running again. I will not run screaming from my house and into heavy traffic after hour 3 of listening to two small babies cry in unison night after night.

I will cope.

Right now, though, I'm not sure how to accomplish any of these things. I've always considered myself a strong and capable person.

How is it then that three small little beings seem poised to bring me to my knees?

14 Responses to “Creating Normal”

  1. # Blogger Simply-Mel

    Um...yes. It aint going to be a cake walk but you seem well prepared in your head about what is coming. That is a huge start.

    Some moms get this very airy-fairy cooing type of thing going on about parenthood and HELL NO it aint even A LITTLE bit like that!!!

    YOu are going to be A- OK!


  2. # Anonymous Ness

    Screaming into a pillow will sometimes relieve my stress. (LOL) Not sure if it will work with twins though. My motto is "if you need help and you get desperate, call someone" even if they can't rush over and help you, just hearing a sane adult on the other end of the line will help. When I had my first one, a perfectly angelic 'easy' baby, he too would have days where I would be freaking out totally unable to handle the crying and not knowing what to do etc and one day, my wonderful amazing paediatrician said to me, that if I get desperate and the babies needs were all taken care of, fed, cleaned, loved, and still refusing to calm down or sleep, then put them in their crib and go and vacuum for 5 minutes. He also said it would be the longest five minutes of my life. Now I'm not an advocate of 'leaving them to cry' at all, but 5 minutes isn't 'leaving' them. It's about saving your sanity, and getting something done at the same time. He was totally safe in his crib, and after just 5 minutes he was either asleep, or calm from being tired. I only had to do it about 3x in the course of the first 6 months, but it was a life saver to know it was okay to 'switch off' for 5 minutes. Don't know how you feel about it, but this is what helped me :) Wishing you luck - and know that you ARE NOT ALONE OKAY!?  

  3. # Blogger Mom24

    One day, one hour, even one moment at a time. I can only imagine how overwhelmed you feel. I hope the babies get easier soon, that will make a big difference. Good luck. We're here for venting, but of course that takes time, doesn't it?

    I totally agree that it's okay to 'switch off' if you need to. Even for longer than 5 minutes. You need to do whatever you need to do to keep your sanity. If that means leaving them safe and sound in their cribs when you know they're fed, changed, etc., and take a break, that's not the worst thing in the world.  

  4. # Blogger Tracey

    I so wish I lived closer to give you a small break now and then. But you're right. You WILL cope. It's just hard to fathom until you're in the situation. Have confidence.  

  5. # Blogger My Wombinations

    I really feel for you and what you are going through. I felt the exact same way in the early weeks with just one extra child.

    I wish I could tell you just what it will look like, but I have no way of knowing. I just know that you have the determination and the strength to make it work. Will you spend a week (or more) feeling overwhelmed to the point of tears? Probably. I know I did. But I got through it and you will, too. It is like ripping off a band aid, you just have to get through the hard part.

    I am sending tons of good thoughts your way.  

  6. # Anonymous Lis Garrett

    Just remember to give yourself permission to break down every now and then. Even with a 9,7, and 3 year old, I occasionally cry like a baby . . . and then I feel MUCH better. This parenting gig is hard, but you are TOUGH!  

  7. # Anonymous Kris

    Good luck! I have complete confidence in you. =) That's not to say that I think it will be easy, but that you will adjust to your "new normal"...

    I wish I was there to help hold babies when you were tired. I've already gone from "heck no" to "maybe someday" to "maybe someday sooner rather than later" when I think about a 3rd baby... I could use a fix of tiny baby love to hold me over a few more months...  

  8. # Blogger MIP

    I am pretty sure this feeling is normal, as one baby (let alone three) left me feeling the same way. Good luck with it all, I am sure it will all become routine soon enough.  

  9. # Blogger Pregnantly Plump

    Good luck! I think you all will do fine. Will be thinking about you tomorrow!  

  10. # Blogger kenju

    You can do it, Kristi. It isn't easy, but it will get easier and you are fully capable. I know this.  

  11. # Blogger Sugar and Ice

    It's 8:57 A.M., and I've been up one hour. I've fed one baby,which is now on the couch beside me asleep in a Boppy, and I'm feeding the other as I type. LG is still asleep. After this I will somehow manage to get these two babies and myself bathed and dressed, LG dressed, LG and I fed, and we will be out the door and headed to a friend's house for a play date by 11. It really does get easier. I wouldn't say we're on a schedule, and I definitely have to listen to a fair amount of crying, sometimes by all three at the same time, but things really have improved. The only place I can admit I am not doing well...housework. I honestly don't feel like I have a single second to do laundry, pick up toys, sweep, mop, or do dishes. Oh well...I'm doing the best I can, and you will do the best YOU can. Good luck today!  

  12. # Blogger Editorgirl

    Hey there - I hope you're doing OK with your first day without mom. I just wanted to jump on quick and wish you Happy Holidays! Things have been crazy in my world so I haven't had a second to catch up on everyone's blog. Hope all is well!  

  13. # Blogger Jesser

    You're absolutely right. You will make it! And the good news is they grow up a bit and get easier in some ways (and harder in others). I applaud you for your sage outlook ... and send you a bottle of Vodka. ;) Just kidding.  

  14. # Anonymous Laura McIntyre

    It will get better , i found once hubby was back at work and on my own things fell into place quickly .
    Sure im not finding much time for showering , blogging or anything much fun but it is the norm.  

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