Alfred Hitchcock Presents

Our neighborhood has a problem. It's not teenage vandals, or cars up on blocks in front yards, or even senior citizens hanging their unmentionables on their clotheslines for all and sundry to see.

Instead, it's squirrels run amuck.

I live in a neighborhood of older homes (mine was built in 1925) surrounded by many, many mature trees. And for the last month or so, in my daily walks with Isabella, I've noticed the presence of an insane amount of squirrels running here, there, and everywhere. Of course, this delights the child, as she loves squirrels almost as much as she loves cheese. But one too many times of having to swerve my car to avoid commiting squirrel manslaughter has sullied my opinion of the creatures (except for Sher's baby squirrels, who are totally cute).

However, prior to this weekend, the squirrel problem didn't really affect me directly.

And then we went to a farm market, had a lovely time, bought some pumpkins, and put them on our front porch.

It took approximately one day following the purchase of these pumpkins for this devastation to occur.

I'm warning you. If you possess a weak constitution, do not go any further in this post. Turn back now.

Behold, the massacre of my husband's pumpkin.

Then, the demon squirrels turned their reign of terror on my pumpkin.


Even Isabella's was not spared the indignity of a front-porch slaughter.

We're not the only ones the squirrels have victimized. The evidence is all over the neighborhood. In fact, we're some of the lucky ones. Our pumpkins' wounds are superficial. Just across the street lies a particularly awful scene of carnage- pumpkins with their guts spilling out of the once magnificent orange orbs.

I'm not quite sure what has spurned these vicious attacks. It's not as if the squirrels want for food in my 'hood, what with the several zillion nut-bearing trees around. And we've lived here for over 7 years, and the pumpkin problem hasn't ever been this bad.

My husband has vowed revenge. He's installed a squirrel-cam, and captured this image of one of the perps, escaping the scene of the crime.

And I, ever the pacifist, simply want us all to get along.

On a tip from my sister, we have just yesterday lubricated our pumpkins with Vaseline to keep the attacks at bay. I'm hoping this puts an end to the carnage.


Now for a tiny bit of baby cuteness from this past weekend at the farm market. Ignore the shrill and grating mommy voice in the background, which in no way belongs to me.

video

13 Responses to “Alfred Hitchcock Presents”

  1. # Anonymous Melissa Garrett

    The pumpkins from our garden look like that, too. Only we didn't have the squirrels to blame (thanks Bridget!)  

  2. # Blogger Beagle

    I can't believe they ate your pumpkins too! I thought they'd be stuffed from eating all my birdseed!

    Video is cute!  

  3. # Blogger My Wombinations

    I love the video!  

  4. # Blogger Editorgirl

    I feel your pain. Our neighborhood used to be an apple orchard so there are apple trees everywhere and every day when I get home from work it never fails - there are half eaten apples from the tree next door decorating my front and back porches. And the little squirrel buggers - man they are up there knocking them down all day long! Then the run across the fence and use our porch as their dinner table!  

  5. # Blogger mrsmogul

    I am no squirrel fan and petition for a SQUIRREL PRISON! The only person who thought they were cute was Beatrix Potter and rumor has it they ate her alive after she finished a book signing of peter cottontail  

  6. # Blogger Binulatti

    So did the Vaseline work? You should put extra on the nibbled spots too to prevent second helpings and from the punnkinz from drying out.
    Dang little buggers. I thought the Brighton Peace Accords of 1998 set clear terms for the SLA*

    (*Squirrel Liberation Amry)  

  7. # Blogger kenju

    I hope the vaseline does the trick. I never thought to do that before. Around here, it is deer who eat the pumpkins.  

  8. # Blogger Tracey

    I hate squirrels.

    When I was pregnant with my first son, a squirrel got into the house!! And he and my cat had a vicious fight in the kitchen while I screamed and waved a broom and cried on the phone to my husband to come home NOW before we all got rabies and OH. MY. GOD. it went downstairs and HEEELLLLPPP!!!!

    See why I don't like squirrels?  

  9. # Anonymous sher

    Can you blame the squirrels for wanting to eat an orange vegetable? We know how good they are for us--and the little darlings have to get really, really fat for winter. You should bake them some nice pumpkin brownies. Yeah, that's it. That might work!

    I loved that video clip. I can't believe how big Isabella has grown.  

  10. # Blogger Damselfly

    Whoa. Squirrelzilla on the loose. Vaseline sounds like a great foil.

    Did I hear Isabella say "uh-oh"? How cute!  

  11. # Blogger Damselfly

    PS I have a friend who says squirrels are just rats in cute costumes.  

  12. # Blogger Damselfly

    PPS So I guess they are just trick-or-treating.  

  13. # Blogger Marie

    Same thing happens in my neighborhood every year! We have a pumpkin now... I plan to stand guard. Either that or lube her up...  

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