In Search of a Good Egg...or Two

12. I currently have 12 large follicles (seven on my right ovary and five on my left) as of my ultrasound on Saturday. I have another ultrasound tomorrow, and I'm hoping for even more. Even though my doctor has said there isn't a corrolary between the number of follicles and pregnancies (meaning, women can have 20 follicles and still not get pregnant), I still want the most chances possible. Not all of my follicles will develop into embryos for implantation, so I figure the more follicles I have, the more chances I have for a handful of "good eggs."

My egg retrieval will likely take place on Thursday or Friday of this week. I'll know for sure tomorrow. Then, three or five days after that (depending on embryo cell division) my doctor will transfer two or three embryos back to me. On or around December 14th, I should know if IVF worked.

This whole process has gone by so quickly. It seems like it was just a day or two ago when I started injections, even though the bruises and marks on my thighs tell a different story. I'm up to twice daily injections of fertility meds now (morning and night), along with Lupron injections in the morning to prevent premature ovulation. I can't believe that as soon as Sunday, I could have three embryos fighting to survive inside me. Would that technically make me pregnant, if only for two weeks if I'm unsuccessful? The thought it a strange one.

At my ultrasound appointment on Saturday, I was upset to see that another patient decided to bring her baby with her for her appointment. She wheeled her enormous stroller containing her adorable baby into the small waiting area where I was sitting alone. Her husband followed her.

At your very first visit to my hospital's infertility clinic, they hand you a binder full of information. And in that binder is a colored sheet of paper, asking you to please refrain from bringing your children to your appointments so as to be sensitive to the emotional needs of other patients. The hospital even provides free daycare for mothers with doctor's appointments on another floor in the building. Granted, this was a Saturday and the daycare may not have been available, but this woman also brought her husband with her. He could have wheeled the baby around in the stroller on the main floor of the hospital while his wife had her appointment. To me, this woman personified selfishness and insensitivity. She was a patient there! Perhaps her son was even the result of previous infertility treatments. Presumably, she knows how hard it is for infertile women to see the babies they want so much, much less to have them invade the small waiting area of their fertility clinic, the one space in the world that should be baby-free.

If I'm ever in her enviable position, my baby will stay home with his or her dad, because I won't soon forget what it feels like to be the infertile, sitting in her doctor's waiting room where she's been coming for 14 months, with an empty womb, a hardened heart, and a not-so-positive outlook about what she's about to endure.

8 Responses to “In Search of a Good Egg...or Two”

  1. # Blogger Dawn

    I know how you feel, well sort of anyway. Before I got pregnant years ago, every time I saw a woman with young children I felt angry. I know that's not reasonable, but as my husband would say: hey, you're a woman (insert punch to his arm or dirty look here). It won't be much longer and I am sending good thoughts your way. I hope that everyone out there is sending good thoughts your way, because I think that kind of thing can make a difference. Here is one of my favorite quotes, mostly because I just need to hear it sometimes to snap myself out of a funk:
    Worry does not empty today of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength. - Corrie ten Boom  

  2. # Blogger Amy

    I don't understand this. When I am lucky enough to schedule an appt. on Saturday, I don't even consider bringing my kids with me. Instead, I feel lucky for the break. I took my older daughter to every single one of my ob appts. when pregnant with my younger daughter only because I had to and I COULDN'T get Saturday appts. It makes no sense to me that this woman brought her baby AND her husband when specifically asked not to, especially since it was a weekend! People are ridiculous and insensitive.  

  3. # Blogger Marie

    How incredibly insensitive of that couple...

    I'm continuing to send you lots & lots of good thoughts, Kristi!  

  4. # Blogger Pamplemousse

    Kristi, it happens every time I go to my clinic lately. I don't even look at them now. But I want to ask them if they have any sensitivity...at all.  

  5. # Blogger Christine

    Crossing my fingers for you.

    May your days be worry free.  

  6. # Blogger Alisha

    Before I begin my rant about the sheer insensitivity of some people, let me first say, OMG, Kristi, is it really that close? You will be in my thoughts and prayers every single day, don't doubt it.

    Secondly, people are stupid. Incredibly stupid. And I am so sorry you had to deal with that. It never gets easy, does it? But, you handled it, and now that woman is gone, so let's just have one thing to say....GOOOOOO FOLLICLES!!!

    Positive vibes to you!  

  7. # Blogger Kross-Eyed Kitty

    oh, do I hear you.
    It does feel like a one-up doesn't it?
    When I was doing my trips to the fertility clinic, there were often women there who had their babies or toddlers with them. I thought it was odd, but then I thought, hmmm...well maybe I should look at this a different way. Obviously they are here because they are having troubles conceiving. Maybe they also had troubles with their first so maybe I should look a these children as the fruits of their especially hard labour...and if it can happen to them it can happen to me. Maybe these children represent hope.
    (Or...maybe these women are just being insensitive and I'm just trying to put a positive spin on it to make you feel better.)
    BITCHES!!!!!  

  8. # Blogger Kristi

    Dawn-I love that quote. And it's so true. Thank you for sharing it. I needed to hear it.

    Amy-I'm glad I'm not the only one. Sometimes I think I'm oversensitive to stuff like this. I don't know what (if anything) that woman was thinking.

    Marie-Thank you!

    Pamplemousse-I'm so sorry that happens to you frequently. It's only happened to me a few times. I was so biting my tongue to prevent myself from lashing out at her.

    Christine-Thanks!

    Alisha-Yup. As of now, it's going to be on Friday of this week. Thanks for your good wishes and prayers. They mean so much.

    Ramona-LOL. I needed that! I would love to think she was trying to provide hope to us infertiles, but I highly doubt she thought for one minute about someone other than herself.  

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