Better Than Cankles

My mom is currently on a hiking vacation in New Hampshire. My sister is currently on vacation in Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands. To say that I am insanely jealous of both of them doesn't quite cover it. As someone who always took at least one week-long vacation during the summer during my adult years, I am still getting used to the "stuck at home with the kid and an empty wallet" deal that is my life now. Come join me, won't you, at my Pity Party, Table For One?

But lest you think that it's all counting the cracks in the ceiling over here, allow me to assure you otherwise. I have big (and I do mean big) news.

Behold, this past week's newest twin pregnancy development - the nastiest feet on the planet:

I looked down at my feet at some point last week and was quite startled to see that they had swollen to twice their normal size. To give you an idea, my feet are normally quite small. I wear a size 5.5 or a 6. Now they require their own zip code. A nurse at my doctor's office assured me this was normal, and told me to avoid standing still in one place for a long time and to keep them elevated whenever possible. She told me to call immediately if one grows freakishly larger than the other. Uh, damn straight you'll be getting a phone call if that happens!

The runner's callouses, tan lines, and chipped unpainted nails finish the look, don't you think? They look like two baked Virginia hams.

I made the mistake of jamming them into heels for a wedding on Friday night. They didn't fit at the beginning of the evening, but somehow showing up to a formal evening reception in a downtown hotel wearing flip-flops, the only shoes I have that currently fit, while tempting, wasn't something I was willing to do.

Of course, as soon as I stuck my inflated feet under the white linen table cloth at table #16, I kicked my shoes off faster than you could say "Barefoot and Pregnant." I am high-class, ya'll. For reals.

Rather than teeter around like a cripple all night, once seated, I pretty much remained seated. And shoeless. At the end of the evening when I went to cram my feet into the shoes again, I realized my feet had swollen even more-I couldn't get them on at all.

And so, dripping with panache and style, I slung my heels over my thumb and waddled barefoot out of the hotel ballroom, down the long hall, down the stairs, and to the entrance to the parking ramp. The hubs went and got the car to pick me up, in which I collapsed in sheer relief.

Stay classy, San Diego.

In other far more interesting and pleasant news, Sasha of My Wombinations gave birth yesterday to her son, Alan. He is a beautiful, healthy baby weighing in at 8 pounds, 1 ounce. Congrats, Sasha!
Also, the August issue of the online parenting magazine Root and Sprout is now live! I have two articles in this month's issue: one on cooking with kids of all ages and another on teaching kids to recycle. While you're reading, check out the Giveaways section and register to win some great prizes. And Melissa, the site's talented and extremely dedicated creator, is always looking for articles. You know you want to see your name "in print," so read the writer's guidelines and submit an article.

14 Responses to “Better Than Cankles”

  1. # Anonymous Lis Garrett

    I have vivid memories of rubbing my stepmother's very swollen feet when she was pregnant with my sister. My feet never did swell, although I can only imagine how uncomfortable it is. So sorry! Hopefully Rich will agree to massage your feet once in awhile. :-)

    And thanks for mentioning Root & Sprout - I really appreciate it!  

  2. # Blogger Mom24

    Scrimp, save, and try to get a pedicure. It can be such an indulgent feeling. I know around here prices have been dropping on them like a rock as people stop getting them because of the economy. I haven't had one in a long time, but if I were you, I'd really try. Good luck.  

  3. # Blogger Tracey

    OUCH!!! Sending you some love hon, cuz I remember getting swollen feet with Corinne. No advice, but just a note that I ALWAYS end up barefoot at weddings. Even when I'm not pregnant. So, you have way more class than I...  

  4. # Blogger Marie

    Go for the flip flops!!  

  5. # Anonymous Kellie

    I just came across your blog and it's hilarious! I had to post a comment on your feet because I can sooooo relate. When I was pregnant with my twins I had to buy a few pairs of shoes in a size larger than normal....Ohterwise, it would have been flip flops and Ugh boots for the duration. Try to kick those feet up when you can. Thank's for the truly entertaining story!  

  6. # Blogger Pregnantly Plump

    I feel your travel pain. Although I'm not nearly as well-traveled as you are. We haven't had a real vacation since getting married because we live so far away from our families. The precious days off from work have been used to catch up.
    I'm sorry about your feet, but I bet LOTS of women left without shoes on. Wedding shoes (both bridesmaids and brides) have to be some of the most painful shoes I've ever worn.  

  7. # Blogger Christine

    I second Mom24, get thee a pedicure! If only for the massage! If it's legal in NY, I would recommend stearing clear of the foot scraping though. The last thing you need is a nasty infection.

    Lastly, no one would have said a word on your flip flops. My cousin's about to burst (gave birth a week later) girlfriend showed up to a sweet sixteen of my cousin's in matching flips. No one said or thought anything.

    Hope Rich throws in a rub for you!  

  8. # Blogger Sugar and Ice

    I feel you on both counts. I won't get a vacation at all this year, and I'm pretty sad about that.

    Also, my feet swell at random times. They don't stay swollen, but it seems that if I walk much at all then I look down and my shoes look like the straps could burst. I wear flip flops most of the time and probably will for the duration.  

  9. # Blogger shokufeh

    Ouch! My feet got quite big when I was pregnant. The sandals I bought at the Clarks outlet for use at the time are now huge on me. But your description makes my feet hurt in memory.  

  10. # Blogger MIP

    I've removed my shoes at weddings even when not swollen and pregnant, no worries on that count. And ditto on the travel jealousy, I am so there.  

  11. # Blogger Hopeful Mother

    I'm not gonna lie- those are some huge feet. :-)

    I remember those days too - I got a foot bubble bath and put cold water in it - it did wonders for me!  

  12. # Blogger Jesser

    I remember having similar pains when I was at college mired in my engineering program and my little sister (who had smartly picked arts & science) was off studying in NYC, Paris and London. :P

    Sorry about the swelling!! It sucks, right? Though I guess I only had it for a week or two at the very end. I hope it doesn't last! Hang in there.  

  13. # Blogger Alex

    I came across your blog and, had to comment on your cute little feet! And, hang in there, I had to wear flip flops and slippers when I was pregant! And, get your hubby to fold the baby clothes and, cook you dinner! Ha ha!  

  14. # Blogger Shannon

    wow... I really feel for you... oh hugs... I think it is time to make the hubs paint your toe nails... something fun and funky!

    How many more weeks do you have to go?  

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